Things I don't do

I tend to think of myself as a pretty damned good parent.  I try hard to give my son everything he needs, to make him feel secure, loved, and happy.  I refuse to compromise on most aspects of his care for my own convenience.  After all, I brought him here.  The least I could do is help him enjoy the trip.

With that said, I try not to sweat the small stuff.  I find there are so many things that parents get hug up on, and it’s not always worth it.  So here is a list of things that I don’t do:

  • warm the wipes – it’s not the end of the world if the baby has a cold bum for a few seconds, and a wipe is certainly more pleasant than the dirty diaper was
  • boil my pump parts nightly – I have never been a germaphobe and breastmilk has some powerful antimicrobial properties.  I use wet wipes after each pumping session and wash my parts with hot soapy water nightly.  We’ve never had a problem.
  • take monthly professional photos of Jack – candids are much more fun and show the baby’s real personality!  They’re also a hell of a lot cheaper.
  • bundle Jack up to walk to the car.  I’ve actually gotten questions about this from old ladies, “Doesn’t he have a coat?”  Yes, he does have a coat but it’s not cold in the store, you old bat.  The kid is resilient – I think he’ll survive a little breeze in his hair.
  • disinfect toys that have fallen on the floor.  The kid spends most of his time on the floor, and he regularly tries to eat the cat.  Germs are everywhere and there’s no way to protect him from them all.  He’ll survive.

Other parents out there: what do you skip in the kid-tending department?  How do you cut yourself some slack?

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Comments

  1. I don’t do anything of the things on your list too (although, I don’t own a pump so that part is moot.)

    I also don’t put my kids down for naps in their own beds. The baby naps on the couch so that I can keep an eye on him while I go about my business (not just because he’s #2, I did so with #1 as well) and not have to run upstairs every two minutes when he grunts. (Since I got pregnant with #2, Little Red has napped with me in my bed.)

    I don’t follow the “no blankets” rule, either. I have a compulsion to put a blanket on my sleeping boys. I use crocheted blankets so no one can ever tell me I’m going to suffocate them.

    I do not schedule. I do use a bedtime routine, but I do not schedule. With that said, the baby just woke up and is hungry — I’m off!

  2. I don’t do anything of the things on your list too (although, I don’t own a pump so that part is moot.)

    I also don’t put my kids down for naps in their own beds. The baby naps on the couch so that I can keep an eye on him while I go about my business (not just because he’s #2, I did so with #1 as well) and not have to run upstairs every two minutes when he grunts. (Since I got pregnant with #2, Little Red has napped with me in my bed.)

    I don’t follow the “no blankets” rule, either. I have a compulsion to put a blanket on my sleeping boys. I use crocheted blankets so no one can ever tell me I’m going to suffocate them.

    I do not schedule. I do use a bedtime routine, but I do not schedule. With that said, the baby just woke up and is hungry — I’m off!

  3. Ah yes, I should have those on my list, as well (although he does nap in the bed). We are cosleepers and we use blankets. Of course, I was very vigilant in the early days about keeping the blankets no higher than my son’s waist. Now it’s not an issue since he can move around so well.

    We are the same with the bedtime routine as you. We aren’t much for scheduling anything, and I’ve learned that it’s so much harder when you expect something (i.e. expect the child to go to sleep at X time) and it doesn’t happen.

  4. Ah yes, I should have those on my list, as well (although he does nap in the bed). We are cosleepers and we use blankets. Of course, I was very vigilant in the early days about keeping the blankets no higher than my son’s waist. Now it’s not an issue since he can move around so well.

    We are the same with the bedtime routine as you. We aren’t much for scheduling anything, and I’ve learned that it’s so much harder when you expect something (i.e. expect the child to go to sleep at X time) and it doesn’t happen.

  5. We use blankets, we don’t let him cry himself to sleep at night, he feeds himself, he eats food off the floor, he kisses the cats, he drinks bathwater, he eats soap (though I really do try to limit that because I just think it’s gross), we don’t use fluoride or vitamin drops, we never fed him rice cereal (shit tastes like wallpaper paste), and I don’t clip his fingernails (I bite them, instead). I stopped keeping track of when he got each tooth when I lost the chart, and his baby book hasn’t been updated since before his first birthday. I don’t make him wear a hat every time we leave the house, and if he’s going to be in the sun less than 30 minutes, I don’t put sunscreen on him. I don’t plan on cutting his hair until he can sit still long enough to have it done and understand the process, and I don’t stress when I put his hair in a ponytail & people think he’s a girl.

  6. We use blankets, we don’t let him cry himself to sleep at night, he feeds himself, he eats food off the floor, he kisses the cats, he drinks bathwater, he eats soap (though I really do try to limit that because I just think it’s gross), we don’t use fluoride or vitamin drops, we never fed him rice cereal (shit tastes like wallpaper paste), and I don’t clip his fingernails (I bite them, instead). I stopped keeping track of when he got each tooth when I lost the chart, and his baby book hasn’t been updated since before his first birthday. I don’t make him wear a hat every time we leave the house, and if he’s going to be in the sun less than 30 minutes, I don’t put sunscreen on him. I don’t plan on cutting his hair until he can sit still long enough to have it done and understand the process, and I don’t stress when I put his hair in a ponytail & people think he’s a girl.

  7. We didn’t do rice cereal either, although I did get some barley cereal. He was having NONE of it. It stinks, too…

    Ponytails – that’s awesome! We will probably do the same (of course, you have seen Joe’s hair).

  8. We didn’t do rice cereal either, although I did get some barley cereal. He was having NONE of it. It stinks, too…

    Ponytails – that’s awesome! We will probably do the same (of course, you have seen Joe’s hair).

  9. My big one is not scheduling. I refuse to try and schedule the kid because of the exact reason you commented above: it’s so much harder for me when the schedule “Fails” that I’d rather live in the moment, follow general routines.

    And you know what? I have a super happy baby so I’m doing it right.
    🙂

    Oh the other one? I will nurse her back to sleep in the middle of the night. So there.

  10. My big one is not scheduling. I refuse to try and schedule the kid because of the exact reason you commented above: it’s so much harder for me when the schedule “Fails” that I’d rather live in the moment, follow general routines.

    And you know what? I have a super happy baby so I’m doing it right.
    🙂

    Oh the other one? I will nurse her back to sleep in the middle of the night. So there.

  11. Oh, man. I don’t do ANY of the stuff that most parents seem to think you “have to” do.

    I try not to judge other parents for being more traditional, but it’s hard. I read on someone’s blog the other day that their TWO DAY OLD BABY was being banished to her own room so the parents could get some sleep. I very calmly closed the tab and will never go to that blog again.

  12. Oh, man. I don’t do ANY of the stuff that most parents seem to think you “have to” do.

    I try not to judge other parents for being more traditional, but it’s hard. I read on someone’s blog the other day that their TWO DAY OLD BABY was being banished to her own room so the parents could get some sleep. I very calmly closed the tab and will never go to that blog again.

  13. B – I nurse Jack back to sleep like 4 times a night. So I am right there with you. And while I wish I got more sleep, I also wouldn’t have things any other way.

    Annika, I don’t think I could handle that, either.

  14. B – I nurse Jack back to sleep like 4 times a night. So I am right there with you. And while I wish I got more sleep, I also wouldn’t have things any other way.

    Annika, I don’t think I could handle that, either.

  15. I dont make my baby sleep on her back! (gasp!) but she’ll wake herself up if on her back.

    I nurse her back to sleep too.

    I dont use a regular infant car seat, I use the stroller or a sling to carry her around. I cant stand how those things threaten to tear out my shoulder they are so unergonomical.

    I dont plan on ever giving rice cereal. Its empty carbs anyway.

    Glad to see I’m not alone.

  16. I dont make my baby sleep on her back! (gasp!) but she’ll wake herself up if on her back.

    I nurse her back to sleep too.

    I dont use a regular infant car seat, I use the stroller or a sling to carry her around. I cant stand how those things threaten to tear out my shoulder they are so unergonomical.

    I dont plan on ever giving rice cereal. Its empty carbs anyway.

    Glad to see I’m not alone.

  17. You are in good company, Megan!

  18. You are in good company, Megan!

  19. I don’t do any of the things mentioned either…
    Also, I don’t make my kid sleep in his own bed and I don’t limit his television to ZERO for under 2 years old. That crap is BS. My son is smart from watching TV and if he isn’t going to nap or relax otherwise, he needs some quiet time and I need a break!

  20. I don’t do any of the things mentioned either…
    Also, I don’t make my kid sleep in his own bed and I don’t limit his television to ZERO for under 2 years old. That crap is BS. My son is smart from watching TV and if he isn’t going to nap or relax otherwise, he needs some quiet time and I need a break!

  21. Hey those are exactly all the rules I follow for my 3 month old.
    In addition to that:
    1. I place all his favorite stuffed toys in the crib.
    2. He loves his blanket n always has it close to him.
    3. I bathe him alternate days and rest just a sponge bath.
    4. I co-sleep with my baby in the afternoons.Its fun and we both love it. At nights he sleeps in my room in his crib.
    5.My son loves watching TV and I let him for a few minutes ‘coz it’s a good break for him.
    6. I nurse him back to sleep.
    7.I sometimes use the pacifier and I am sure he ain’t confused between my nipple and the pacifier.

  22. Hey those are exactly all the rules I follow for my 3 month old.
    In addition to that:
    1. I place all his favorite stuffed toys in the crib.
    2. He loves his blanket n always has it close to him.
    3. I bathe him alternate days and rest just a sponge bath.
    4. I co-sleep with my baby in the afternoons.Its fun and we both love it. At nights he sleeps in my room in his crib.
    5.My son loves watching TV and I let him for a few minutes ‘coz it’s a good break for him.
    6. I nurse him back to sleep.
    7.I sometimes use the pacifier and I am sure he ain’t confused between my nipple and the pacifier.

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