Kind of speechless

This doesn’t happen to me often – going a long period of time without having much at all to say.  It’s just that I’ve been very busy trying to get some things in my life sorted out.  Mainly, my marriage, which looks like it’s going on hiatus.  Our separation will occur around the date of our 9 year wedding anniversary.  I find that little tidbit strange.

The separation is amicable and it was a mutual decision.  We didn’t fight or anything…we just realized things weren’t what they should be and we need some time to work on our individual selves.  The decision was much harder to make because of Jack.  Joe and I are both concerned about hurting him and/or depriving him of the stability of a two parent household.  Ultimately, we think it’s better to have two healthy single parent households rather than one unhealthy/unhappy two-parent household.  I hope we’re right.

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  1. “We think it’s better to have two healthy single parent households rather than one unhealthy/unhappy two-parent household.”

    well, i hope my mom doesn’t read this, but i think you’re right.

  2. I am kinda speechless, too. I will keep you guys (all three of you) in my heart.

  3. Good luck. I’m glad you guys are taking such care to be mature about it. My parents divorced when I was about Jack’s age, and I was considerably more well-adjusted than most of my “divorced-parents” friends, because my parents were mature about it. I don’t remember ever seeing them fight, and they didn’t talk trash about each other to us. The older I get the more grateful I am to them for doing things the way they did.

  4. Wow, that’s rough, but you sound very calm and on top of the situation. Jack will be fine. Everyone will be fine. My sympathies.

  5. I second Liz in saying you’re right about two healthy single parent households vs an unhappy two-parent household. It sounds like you’re coping really well, given the situation.

  6. I know you are right. Stability doesn’t come from having two parents in the same house; it comes from having two parents(or a community of those who love and care for the child) committed to the child regardless of where everyone is living. Sending good thoughts your way. And hugs.

  7. sorry to hear that you’re seperating, but I agree that it makes more sense. and I agree that things will work out. and no matter what, Jack is still and always super lucky to have such devoted parents…

  8. Wow, nine years is a long time!
    Gosh. Glad you all seem to be doing well!


  1. […] The conversation about separating took about two minutes. Joe and I both new where we stood with one another and knew it’d be a relief to not be together anymore. Everything else aside, we were a bad match – nearly complete opposites when it came to goals, personality, and values. This was not difficult to see. The only reason our relationship had been ‘working’ was because I’d been suppressing so much of myself for so long, trying to mold myself into a good wife for Joe. I might have continued to do this if my own psyche hadn’t put a stop to it. Even Joe had told me, “You aren’t the person I fell in love with at 16.” He was right. […]

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