Comments on: Primary http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/ Parenting Left of the Middle Tue, 07 Feb 2012 04:12:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Beth http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2056 Beth Wed, 31 Mar 2010 00:13:29 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2056 My husband and I are meeting with the mediator next week and it is phenomenally hard to come up with a good custody arrangement. It has also become clear to me that it is so hard to come up with a fair parenting agreement. I am sure that I will be the one to get their clothes, make the doctor's appointments, etc. And, like you, part of me needs that-to be in control of what they eat and that they have warm jackets. But I need my soon-to-be-ex to step up to the plate as well. Best of luck to you as you find a system that works for you, now. My husband and I are meeting with the mediator next week and it is phenomenally hard to come up with a good custody arrangement. It has also become clear to me that it is so hard to come up with a fair parenting agreement. I am sure that I will be the one to get their clothes, make the doctor’s appointments, etc. And, like you, part of me needs that-to be in control of what they eat and that they have warm jackets. But I need my soon-to-be-ex to step up to the plate as well. Best of luck to you as you find a system that works for you, now.

]]> By: Cat http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2028 Cat Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:31:00 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2028 Sounds like you're dealing with things the best you can. There's a lot of us out here doing the same, so [hugs] and solidarity. All you can do is what you think is best for Jack. Sounds like you’re dealing with things the best you can. There’s a lot of us out here doing the same, so [hugs] and solidarity. All you can do is what you think is best for Jack.

]]> By: veronica lee http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2024 veronica lee Wed, 17 Mar 2010 05:41:47 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2024 Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog. Hi! Stopping by from MBC. Great blog.

]]> By: B http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2023 B Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:16:18 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2023 *hugs* *hugs*

]]> By: Sarah http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2022 Sarah Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:39:11 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2022 I know that feeling. I was talking to my new counselor about that and it's something we're going to be working on. Fun times! *eyeroll* I know that feeling. I was talking to my new counselor about that and it’s something we’re going to be working on. Fun times! *eyeroll*

]]> By: Ewokmama http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2021 Ewokmama Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:37:19 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2021 Thanks, Sarah. I feel like I'm making so much of this up as I go along, which is totally against my "plan plan plan" nature. Thanks, Sarah. I feel like I’m making so much of this up as I go along, which is totally against my “plan plan plan” nature.

]]> By: Sarah http://ewokmama.com/2010/03/16/primary/comment-page-1/#comment-2019 Sarah Tue, 16 Mar 2010 22:30:49 +0000 http://ewokmama.com/index.html/?p=1362#comment-2019 Crys, this is very well-written. I'm glad that you were able to diplomatically put your feelings out there. This happens in all relationship, whether there are children or not involved. It was that way with me and ThEx and it will be with you this way with Jacks' father, too. I commend you for *not* reaching out to use legal resources even when you could. You are proving to be a kind and caring adult about the situation, and until it is absolutely needed, I would keep doing what you are doing. This shouldn't all be up to you, though - you do need to learn to assert yourself to be able to ask for what you need. Even if it's in writing, asking for what you need from a partner (not your romantic partner, but your parenting partner, in this case) is important. We are all here for you as much as you need us, and you can let me know where you want help. I love you & Jack ... and the David, too. :) Crys, this is very well-written. I’m glad that you were able to diplomatically put your feelings out there. This happens in all relationship, whether there are children or not involved. It was that way with me and ThEx and it will be with you this way with Jacks’ father, too.

I commend you for *not* reaching out to use legal resources even when you could. You are proving to be a kind and caring adult about the situation, and until it is absolutely needed, I would keep doing what you are doing.

This shouldn’t all be up to you, though – you do need to learn to assert yourself to be able to ask for what you need. Even if it’s in writing, asking for what you need from a partner (not your romantic partner, but your parenting partner, in this case) is important. We are all here for you as much as you need us, and you can let me know where you want help.

I love you & Jack … and the David, too. :)

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