Yesterday I sat down and tried to write a post about Jack and what it’s been like since he’s turned six. I wrote a lot, actually, but it’s all very disjointed. I found it very difficult to describe Jack’s recent exploits without the cancer stuff. I honestly can’t say whether some things he does these days are just part of being six or caused by side effects of cancer and its treatment.
I decided to pare it down and just write about one that’s been troubling me lately. Perhaps I can get some insight from other parents with kids around this age as to whether this is a ‘being six’ thing or a ‘kid with cancer’ thing. And if y’all have ideas on how to handle it, I’m all ears!
Jack is seemingly obsessed with me doing things for him.
Whether it’s making his meals, deciding on an outfit for the day, or playing Scooby Doo with him…he wants me, and only me, to do it. In addition, he demands that I LOOK!LOOK!LOOK! at particular scenes of shows we’ve seen a bunch of times. I have to acknowledge every robot he makes in his iPad game and every time he feeds one of his monsters in his other games…
At first I thought we just needed to spend more time together. He’s been at his dad’s more this year, so perhaps he was just missing me? But I’ve taken fairly large chunks of time off lately to be with him and that has not seemed to lesson his need one bit.
I asked him why he needs me to do things for him. Why can’t David fix dinner? Why can’t someone else read even one of the three books we read at bedtime each night? Why me and only me and all the time ME?
“Well, mom, it’s just that I’m attracted to you.”
Um, okay. I told him he should probably use different words, but alright. I guess he has a need he can’t explain, either.
I’ve thrown around various theories from him needing extra comfort since he got sick or because of the move or maybe it’s a phase…but it has been going on for months and months and hasn’t let up. It’s nice to feel wanted and, gosh, he must think I’m pretty great, but I would really prefer it if he’d led David take care of him, too.
I miss my fearless, secure, independent little dude. I hope he comes back.