Aural Update

Is that a word – aural? I’m not sure but it is amusing to me so I’m going with it.

In case you haven’t guessed (or you’re new here), this is in reference to my post Lions and Tigers and Auras, Oh My! I thought an update might be in order.

First, Jack spent a weekend with his dad and step-mom and during his time there, his step-mom asked him how long he’s been seeing colors around people. Jack’s answer was, “Since I got my new glasses.” And we all thought, AH HA!

I did some research and found out this is called chromatic aberration, or “color ghosting” around the edges of objects. It is much more common in polycarbonate lenses (which are generally what they give to children because they are more durable) that have stronger prescriptions. Some people don’t notice it, but Jack does. Apparently.

In addition to learning this valuable information, I met with Jack’s therapist and her supervisor – both to get my questions answered and get an update on Jack’s progress in therapy. We all agreed that Jack is an extra-empathetic and intuitive kid. We also agreed that he is in need of tools to help him learn how to distance himself from the emotions of those around him so that he doesn’t absorb them, which has caused him problems at school. He comes by this naturally – I deal with it, as well. This ‘ability’ has led me to refer to myself as a ‘mood sponge’ and it can be very difficult for me to differentiate between my own feelings and those of various highly emotional people I might spend time with and care about. It can be very confusing when I get depressed out of nowhere and have no clue as to why – and then it all becomes clear when a family member or friend that I’ve been around a lot admits they’ve been struggling with depression. Anyway, I haven’t done a great job of learning how to handle this, so it’s not something I can help Jack with. Jack’s therapist, however, can help him with that as part of their regular therapy.

Regarding the whole auras and Intuitive thing – the supervising therapist clarified that she had not been suggesting that Jack meet with an Intuitive – merely, it was a resource for me (and his other parents) if we wanted some additional guidance in understanding a highly empathetic child. None of that is part of the therapy he is getting from them; it’s just extra information that we can do with what we will. I expressed our general discomfort with that route and let both therapists know that we’d like to focus on the typical therapeutic methods of helping Jack to learn to put up boundaries, which they are more than happy to do. Whew.

I didn’t bother arguing that I don’t think Jack can actually see auras or explaining about the chromatic aberration thing. Essentially, the whys of his empathetic nature aren’t so important to me – I don’t think we can really know why he is the way he is. What is really important is that he learns how to utilize his empathy to his own benefit instead of being constantly exhausted by the emotions of others around him.

Hopefully I can learn that, too! It would sure make my life easier.

Last but not least, THANK YOU to everyone who provided input on my post. It was very helpful to hear a variety of perspectives on this subject. I really appreciate it. My friend Jana recommended I get the book The Highly Intuitive Child: A Guide to Understanding and Parenting Unusually Sensitive and Empathic Children (that’s an affiliate link). I’ve started reading through it and so far it’s RIGHT ON. So if you’ve noticed your own child seems extra sensitive to the world around him/her and you’re looking for some parenting tips, go check it out!

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