Earn Money Online For Your School This Summer

June 10, 2013 By

I know it’s summer but shopping doesn’t end when the school year does, huh? Kids keep outgrowing their clothes and shoes, seasons keep changing, birthdays come along, and the new school year comes around again all too quickly.

Jack’s school sent home helpful reminders last week about purchasing school supplies for next year (minimum requested: $48, plus “suggested” additional donations for the science booster and other supplies) – the price has gone up from last year due to (you guessed it!) budget cuts. They also encouraged us to keep collecting Box Tops coupons during summer break to get a head start on fundraising. Lucky for me, Box Tops for Education itself is helping our family and school out with this goal – I was given a gift card to use while shopping in the Box Tops Marketplace so that I could blog about my experience and spread the word about earning FREE money for your school of choice (you don’t even have to have a kid) when you shop online!

So, first thing’s first – I set up an account online and set my default school in my profile. Then I went and perused the vendors in the Marketplace, which has more than 250 stores. Here are some of my favorite retailers and how much they send over to the school of my choice for every $10 I spend:

  • Target – 1 box top per $10 spent
  • The Children’s Place – 2.5 box tops per $10 spent
  • Barnes & Noble – 2 per $10
  • Build-a-Bear – 3 per $10
  • Walgreens – 3.5 per $10
  • Drugstore.com – 5 per $10
  • Groupon – 2 per $10
  • Living Social – 2 per $10
  • Kohl’s – 2 per $10
  • Overstock – 1.5 per $10
  • Highlights Magazine – 12 per $10
  • Old Navy – 2 per $10
  • iTunes – 2.5 per $10
  • Starbucks – 3.5 per $10

I shop at least one of these stores every week and my average spending is definitely more than $10. Now that I’ve signed up, all I have to do is click through to the store website from the Box Tops Marketplace when I make a purchase and Jack’s elementary school gets free money! (Of course I’m kicking myself now for not going through the Marketplace before now. Knowledge is power, people!)

And not only can you earn money for your school but in some cases you can get discounts on your purchases, as well. The Marketplace has new coupons all the time – right now they have a coupon for 30% off any purchase at Land’s End.

The site is incredibly easy to use and I am liking it better than the traditional box tops collection method because I am not limited to products that have the box tops symbol on them (I really do look for that symbol on the things I buy). So far I’ve purchased coffee from Starbucks (Via in bulk!), delivery food from Seamless.com, and a few books from Barnes & Noble and I’ve already earned $5.66 for Jack’s school. Considering how often I shop online, this is going to be a HUGE moneymaker for Jack’s school. Apparently I’m the only one so far participating so I really need to get the word out, too. I’d love to see out-of-pocket costs for parents go down over the next year.

I received a big response last time I posted about Box Tops for Education – it sounds like a lot of you out there collect those coupons. Now I’m wondering – are you using the Marketplace, too? Am I the last to know about this?? And, if not, are you going to use it now that you know about it? I certainly hope so!

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Disclosure: Information, products and promotional items have been provided by General Mills and Box Tops for Education and its program partners, but opinions expressed are my own. For further information on my media policies, see my Disclosure page.

Filed Under: Parenting 101, School, Shopping 1 Comment

I Totally Called That One

June 7, 2013 By

I was on top of things this morning. I pushed aside my anxiety (which I get on every blood draw day) and got Jack his breakfast, drew his blood for labs, and administered his morning medicine. He got to school only a bit late (and we had a good excuse anyway) and then I got his labs to the hospital by 9:15am. I felt pretty good about that!

After dropping off the labs, I got on the highway and headed to work. For the first time this week, there was NO traffic. I flew down the road and through the toll plaza. I dropped my dog off at daycare before 10am – that’s less than 45 minutes to get from Hayward to San Francisco. Hell yeah!

I rode that high for about 2 minutes and then…

Less than 30 minutes later Jack’s lab results came in. His WBC counts had dropped and his ANC came in at a measly 440 – definitely neutropenic and susceptible to infection. While at school.

It’s like I’m psychic!

Or maybe just used to the push and pull that is my life.

David left work to pull Jack out of school while I called Jack’s dad. Jack was supposed to go to his Half Moon Bay home this weekend but they are all sick over there so we decided it’d be best he stay put in San Leandro.

Our Case Manager called me to confirm that Jack is neutropenic and give me instructions for this week. It sounds like we’ll still go through with his procedure on Monday (Spinal Methotrexate followed by a Vincristine infusion) but until then he’ll be off of chemotherapy to encourage his system to recover.

I think this is the first break from chemo Jack has had since this whole thing started last January. I’m not sure what to say about that. It feels strange. I’ll take it, though. It’ll be nice not to have to rush Jack through dinner so that we get enough time between his evening meal and chemo. Maybe the weekend will actually feel like a weekend.

And maybe, just maybe, he’ll sleep in since he’s feeling a little under the weather…

Filed Under: Cancer, Cancer Mom, Illness, Parenting 101 Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment

Help A Friend Or Loved One With Cancer

June 3, 2013 By

I’ve written before offering tips for caring for a child with cancer, but as I’ve had more friends and acquaintances receive a cancer diagnosis, I thought I would broaden the suggestions a bit. Many of these do not apply just to cancer patients and their families – many of them can be helpful for those facing chronic, life-threatening, or autoimmune illnesses, as well.

Ideas for helping your family member, friend, co-worker, or neighbor dealing with a cancer diagnosis:

  1. Send in a referral to the Cancer Card Exchangefor the patient – CCX provides gift cards to help families dealing with cancer pay for everyday expenses.
    • If you have spare gift cards laying around, please consider donating those to CCX!
  2. Help with meals – either cook for the family, organize a food tree, or buy the family prepared meals that are delivered. (Omaha Steaks is always an option.)
  3. Organize a wish list for any items the family may need and communicate that to friends/family.
  4. Offer to provide transportation to/from appointments.
  5. Help with house cleaning, or subsidize a maid service.
  6. Offer to go grocery shopping for the family.
  7. Organize/schedule cards, gifts, and visits – particularly after the initial shock wears off.
  8. Set up a CaringBridge or Lotsa Helping Hands website for the family to communicate more easily.
  9. Offer to research cancer information and provide the ‘Cliff’s Notes’ to the family.
  10. Look up resources (i.e. support groups or charities that provide care packages or financial aid) for the family and help organize or send in applications for services.
  11. Register to be a bone marrow donor or donate to Be The Match.
  12. Donate blood and/or plasma – this may not benefit them directly, but definitely helps the general supply.
  13. Organize a drive (with family, at work, church, etc.) for blood donations and/or the bone marrow donor registry.
  14. Offer to provide or help subsidize childcare or pet sitting services.
  15. Organize a fundraiser for the family – even those with the best of insurance plans have additional expenses that they didn’t plan for. Give Forward and Go Fund Me are popular sites.
  16. Call or visit – the patient might want to talk or might just want someone’s company to watch a movie or enjoy the scenery.

Care Package Ideas:

  • Gift cards – Amazon, Target, iTunes, Barnes & Noble, grocery stores
  • Games/puzzles, books, DVDs or other time passers
  • Lotion – unscented for dry skin (i.e. Eucerin, Aquafor)
  • Snack foods or quick foods – protein bars, trail mix, peanut butter, powdered drink mixes, even a favorite candy (be sure to ask about dietary limitations)
  • Hand sanitizer, particularly the pocket-sized ones and pump bottles
  • Antibacterial hand soap refills
  • Sunscreen
  • Soft blankets and sheets
  • Soft pajamas and sweats
  • Pillows (a boyfriend pillow is great for those who have to get lumbar punctures or spinal taps!)
  • Breakfast-in-bed tray
  • Herbal Tea (particularly those that help with nausea, sleeplessness, and sore throat)
  • Sanitizing wipes
  • Heating pad
  • Cooling headache pads (disposable)
  • Hats – soft, fuzzy ones for those who are losing their hair, or wide-brimmed for sun protection

Raise Awareness and Funds for the Cause (just a few suggestions):

This is obviously not an exhaustive list but hopefully it will get your ideas flowing more freely. So often when a loved one is diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, we don’t know what to do or say. What we feel comfortable offering can vary widely, but I’m certain that there is always something we can do to help!

Readers, please feel free to add to the list in the comments!

Filed Under: Cancer, Issues Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , Leave a Comment

Our Camp Okizu Trip

May 29, 2013 By

We recently spent a weekend at Camp Okizu, which is a free camp specifically for northern California families dealing with childhood cancer. Jack had attended with his dad and step-mom last year and everyone came back raving, so we were really looking forward to it. The camp didn’t disappoint and our trip was very special indeed.

So special that I’ve been ruminating over our experience and trying to put it into words since we got back a week and a half ago. The trip overall gave me a bit more peace, although I’m not sure I can explain why exactly. It was a little bit of stress relief, a little bit of validation, and a little bit of forced ‘dealing.’ It was a medley of awesomeness that was both healing and thought-provoking.

We each made our own name tags.

As for the awesome and fun parts, we spent some time shooting arrows at targets (I felt like Merida!), and Jack got to go fishing and actually caught a good-sized Bass. He was so proud! We sat down as a family for every meal! It was wonderful to sit together and relax and eat and talk without having to worry about cooking and cleaning. We attended a campfire and roasted marshmallows for s’mores. Jack ‘participated’ in a campfire song – which meant that he went up on stage with the other kids but acted like a frog eating bugs while everyone else sang and danced. We were afraid he was stealing the show from the other kids but everyone took it in stride (and we realized afterward that he was improvising because he has memory issues).

With some extra instruction, Jack hit the target!

We were told a couple of times that Jack was the favorite kid among the camp counselors. Jack always has a story about something strange and interesting, or a goofy joke to tell, and the adults just cracked up at his precociousness. Counselors sat with us every meal! One counselor made Jack a friendship bracelet and also helped him get a letter from the legendary camp mascot “Tajer” (who is part jaguar, part tiger, and part badger). I wish we knew her name and could thank her directly. The counselors were seriously amazing.

Sporting his new beanie.

In the mornings at camp the adults and kids were split up for separate sessions. The kids went and did various activities while the parents attended what was basically group therapy. We shared our stories – there were a many types of cancer diagnoses and families were in various stages of treatment. The founder of the camp led discussions on 504/IEP plans (and why every cancer patient should have them) and dealing with sibling issues, then opened things up to anything else that was on our minds.

The cabins in Harmony Ridge

One family there was dealing with a terminal diagnosis. Their story had quite an impact – they are living through our worst fears. It really struck me how unfair it is that a child can be perfectly fine and even neurotypical and then, out of nowhere, become incapacitated. Not long ago this child was attending school and playing with his friends and now he is in a wheelchair and steadily losing autonomy. Our story is a mere shadow of that, but still there are similarities. I’m reminded of the similarities – the scary parts of every case of cancer – whenever Jack wakes up and crawls to the living room because he’s feeling “floppy” from the chemo built up in his body.

We also heard from families who had similar prognoses to Jack’s and ‘smooth’ experiences who then went through relapse (one with ALL and one with another type of cancer). As strange as it might sound, that was both scary and comforting. I guess it’s nice to know we aren’t crazy for worrying about that possibility or for almost expecting it to happen. And these parents weren’t all that different from us and we could see them coping, so there was a sense of “if they got through it, we can get through it.” These people didn’t possess some special pool of bravery or coping skills that they were able to access when a new challenge came along. They just kept on doing the best they could and that was enough.

It was also nice to hear others – no matter the ‘severity’ of their situation – admit that they felt guilty for complaining about their difficulties. We ALL worried about those who had it worse than us.

It was funny to me that so many of us with different types of cancer situations were told similar things by doctors at the time of diagnosis – for instance, “this is the BEST cancer to have.” I don’t think it’s that the oncologists are intentionally distorting the facts to anyone – I think it has to do more with the strange nature of cancer – its complexity and the difficulty in determining statistics, plus the disconnect between science, medicine, and real life.

I think the only safe thing to say is that the ‘best’ cancer to have is NO CANCER AT ALL.

We plan to go back to Camp Okizu and I sincerely hope we will see some of the same faces we saw during this visit. I’ve heard it said before that the cancer club is not one anyone wants to be a part of, but you end up meeting some really amazing people in it. It’s very refreshing to see so much good all in one place.

Filed Under: Cancer, Holidays & Events, Illness, Photos Tagged With: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Maintenance Is Still Hard

May 24, 2013 By

 

 

It should be easier than this.

We should be used to it by now.

We should have found our groove.

This should all be routine.

But it’s NOT easier. We’re NOT used to it. We haven’t found a groove and our routine is centered around getting through the day somewhat in tact.

We often feel like failures (as well as whiners). Our house is a disaster ALL THE TIME. We are so very tired, even after a full night’s sleep. Quality of sleep, no matter how long, has degraded over time. It will continue to do so – we still have two years of cancer treatments to get through. Not to mention that as Jack grows, the chemo dosages increase. And while the increase in volume is proportionate, side effects may not be.

Our ability to focus is pretty much shot. This makes things like work and math – and paying bills – harder. Yet it all has to be done. There are no exceptions.

We haven’t heard many people talk about this stage in treatment. We’ve been feeling pretty alone, not to mention powerless to change our circumstances. And after experiencing a year and a half of this, there is no indication that those next two years are going to get any easier. It’s just more of the same and as time passes, it wears on us more and more.

We went to Camp Okizu this past weekend and it helped. We felt less alone. We met other parents who also feel like it’s gotten harder instead of easier. We heard our fears of relapse echoed from other parents whose children have had fairly straight-forward cases. We weren’t the only ones waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In other words, it’s not that we have a flair for the dramatic – this is just part of the process.

A weight was lifted off of us for two days. We didn’t struggle to get out of bed and face the day. Jack happily did his homework while we rested. There were no bedtime struggles. Everything just went smoothly because we weren’t trying to fit cancer and its treatment into our regular life – we were able to go to a place where life has been adjusted to accommodate these challenges. That’s as close to a break from cancer as we can get!

We’re back home now and I’m feeling more at peace than before our trip. The same struggles are still present, but my state of mind has improved. I now carry with me the experience of meeting others who face the same things I do and the knowledge that my feelings and reactions are in the normal range. Somehow, it helps.

With this bit of calm and clarity, I can describe better why Maintenance is harder than the previous two phases of treatment. See, we were living a full life before cancer came along. And in order to deal with the curve balls cancer has sent flying at us, we’ve given pieces of normal life up in order to focus on dealing with cancer. Some people take big chunks out – quit their jobs, go on a leave of absence, withdraw completely from their social circles. In my case, I’ve taken little chunks out of every part of my life. I’ve pulled back incrementally at work, at home, and socially. This affords me the benefit of continuing to do most of the things I did before Jack got sick, BUT the downside is that it feels like cancer is affecting every part of my life. And because it impacts everything, I am not doing anything 100%.

Further, Maintenance took what had been a concentrated (intense) challenge and spread it out. Instead of cancer treatment impacting our lives once or twice a week in a big way, it’s impacting our lives every day. There is no downtime or ramp-up time between treatments – just a bunch of pills. Oh, and school now, too.

There’s also a bit of the “are we there yet?” syndrome going on. You know how the last hour of a long flight or car trip is the worst? Suddenly you just have to get out of that tiny space! It’s gotten too hot, too stuffy, too noisy, and your patience has completely worn thin.

That torturous hour is just what Maintenance feels like. And it’s not the kids asking “are we there yet?” repeatedly – it’s everyone else…

Is the cancer gone yet?

Is treatment done yet?

Is he cured yet?

Can we move onto something else now?

I wish we could pull this car over but we just have to keep driving.

Filed Under: Cancer, Cancer Mom, Illness Tagged With: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Yet Again, I’m Blogging About Mental Health

May 15, 2013 By

Today is Mental Health Month Blog Day. Mental health – and illness – is a topic of great importance to me and something I’ve written about before. It’s importance has only grown as I’ve gotten older. My experiences with mental illness have led me to get involved in helping others through sites like Band Back Together and I try to speak about my experiences openly and honestly whenever possible.

Did you know that a quarter of Americans experience a diagnosable mental health disorder every year? It’s highly likely that you or someone you know (or SEVERAL someones you know!) is dealing with mental illness. And yet, “research published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior (Vol. 41, No. 2) finds that 68% of Americans do not want someone with a mental illness marrying into their family and 58% do not want people with mental illness in their workplaces.”

Whaaaat??

This is why it’s important to talk about mental health!

I'm Blogging for Mental Health.

I was diagnosed at age 15 with depression after I read an article in a magazine. Mental illness runs in my family – my dad, my mom, my brother, my grandmother, and cousins have been diagnosed with various problems – but I was one of the first to receive a diagnosis and treatment. Once I was diagnosed, a number of my family members realized they struggled with the same issues as I did and sought help. Our family life improved drastically after we got help.

Getting help was the best thing I ever did – for me and for my whole family.

I thought I knew everything I needed to know about depression by the time Jack was born, over 10 years after I was initially diagnosed, but then I experienced Postpartum Depression and PTSD reared its ugly head. I threw myself into therapy once again, this time taking a multi-pronged approach with group therapy, skills building classes, and individual therapy along with medication. I went through a variety of these intense therapies for about four years before I felt like I could take a break.

Treatment has been tremendously helpful. In many ways, I am a different person than I was before that very intense therapy. I grew up with so much trauma and while that is common, it’s not easy to cope with. I came up with some very creative ways of coping but the coping didn’t end when the traumas did. And because I was so busy coping, I wasn’t living.

But treatment alone would not have done it for me. I needed community. I needed friends and family. And as difficult as it was to reach out, I did. And my friends and family kept me going throughout my treatment.

Now my son struggles to cope with the challenges in his young life, partly due to genetics and partly due to his experiences with cancer. I am especially thankful these days that I took the time to help myself! I am strong enough now to help him. I can tell him that it’s okay to be sad and that he doesn’t have to just CHEER UP and GET OVER IT. I can help him grieve and move on so that his feelings won’t haunt him for years and years. And I can show him how to ask for help from family and the medical community.

He doesn’t have to be alone.

It is my hope that – eventually – no one will have to go through mental illness alone. Mental illness was something I struggled with by myself for a long time and it wasn’t until I got help from others that I truly started to find healing. It was 100% worth it.

I encourage you all to share your experiences and to reach out to others – whether you are the one struggling or you know someone else who is. Even if the results are small, they make a difference and can change a life.

Filed Under: Getting my groove back, Issues, PPD Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , 7 Comments

AT-AT Attack Battle Game Review & Giveaway

May 2, 2013 By

Are you ready for Star Wars Day? If your family is a lover of Star Wars, you can celebrate this epic day (May the Fourth) by winning the Angry Birds Star Wars AT-AT Attack Battle Game by Hasbro!

Now, we don’t play Angry Birds at our house. We tried the app – both Jack and I – but it just made us too angry. It is aptly named. Something about those pigs laughing at us hysterically when we don’t beat a level is too much. It was better for us to erase the game than it was to slam our phone and iPad against a wall.

We do love the concept of Angry Birds, though – a puzzle game where you fling birds at jerky pigs hiding in cleverly configured bunkers. Puzzle games and snark are right up our alley! When the Angry Birds Star Wars game came out, I really wished we did like the game (even if they did leave out the ewoks). So I was delighted to see that Hasbro created a physical game to putter around with. Who doesn’t love flinging flying objects in order to knock things down?!

We received the Angry Birds Star Wars AT-AT Attack Battle Game to test out. Here’s the description from Hasbro:

Stack, launch, and destroy with the AT-AT ATTACK BATTLE GAME, which includes 21 blocks to create the signature AT-AT, a LIGHTSABER LAUNCHER and 12 ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS figures — including two that are exclusive to this set! Players can also unlock ANGRY BIRDS STAR WARS in-app content with a special code in each pack. (Approximate retail price: $39.99; Ages: 5 & up. Available: Now)

Now, I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the actual playing of the game, but I have to give a shout-out to Hasbro with regard to the packaging. There were no zip-ties and only one plastic tray to contain the bird and pig figures – the rest was cardboard folded in creative ways to keep the pieces in order. We got the whole set out of the box in about 30 seconds! THIS is frustration-free packaging!

My friend Sabrina and I went to town setting up the pieces for Jack (we were excited, okay!). The plastic headpiece for the AT-AT was a bit tough to put together, but it is sturdy so I think it will outlast many wallopings by flying birds. There is a beginning suggestion for how to set up the pieces on the AT-AT platform but there are a bunch of different configurations you can come up with – it’s a bit like Tetris. I’m sure if you’ve played the app enough, you can mimic some of the set-ups you’ve seen there.

There are four birds and eight pigs that come with the set. Each of the birds has a hole in the bottom that you place on the peg on the launcher (it looks similar to a sling shot). You hold the base of the launcher with one hand and pull down the lever with the other, then let go. The launcher sends the bird flying right at the AT-AT and those jerky pigs! It’s REALLY satisfying to knock down a bunch of blocks and see the pigs fly. Bonus: If you miss, the pigs don’t make a peep!

Launching things is one of Jack’s favorite past-times these days, so this game had his interest right away. He didn’t seem to have any complaints, although it took him a few tries to figure out how to aim the launcher and determine the necessary distance for his target. Once he got the hang of it, he didn’t want to stop.

I could see older kids getting bored with this ‘game’ somewhat quickly, though – it doesn’t have any rules so it’s more of a toy than a game. Also some may be bothered by the fact that it takes much longer to set up the blocks than it does to knock them down. Jack thinks setting up the blocks is part of the fun, though.

Side note: At a $40 retail value, I would have loved to see this game come with a carrying case because once you assemble the head of the AT-AT, it won’t fit back in the box it came in. If you have babies or toddlers in the house, you’ll want to keep the pig and bird figures away from them as they may present a choking hazard.

Do you live in the U.S. and want to win the AT-AT Attack Battle Game and have your own Hasbro GameNight? Entries will be accepted through May 4th. Modes of entry:

Mandatory:

  • Tweet about this post OR share it on Facebook or Google+ (leave a comment with your tweet URL or Facebook/Google+ info) – 1 entry

Additional Entries:

Good luck and May the Fourth be with you!

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Disclosure: I was provided with the above-referenced product in order to provide my review but am receiving no compensation for this post. All opinions expressed here are my own. For more information on my reviews, please see my disclosure page and my summary of sponsored content.

Filed Under: Gear, Reviews, Shopping Tagged With: , , , , , , , , 16 Comments

It’s Not About You

May 1, 2013 By

Six-year-olds are jerks.

Did you know that?

someecards.com - I love being a kid because when I act like a jerk my mom will totally blame herself.

We’ve been struggling for weeks and weeks with all manner of things with Jack. Finally I went back to the parenting bible I had browsed a year ago – Your Six-Year-Old by Ames & Ilg – and everything became clear. I’m not failing and cancer isn’t stealing Jack’s youth and soul. He’s acting like a jerk because he’s six!

I don’t know why this surprised me. I’ve experienced similar revelations about other frustrating ages and stages. And as each year passes I revise my opinion that the age we just said goodbye to was the worst. Because seriously, kids only get more complicated with age!

But six…I really can’t imagine much worse. At least it’s well known (possibly because we remember them better) that the teen years suck. I remember enough of my teen years to know that I was a royal asshole and nothing my mom could do would have changed that fact – it was like I was implanted with a rage generator. I do not, however, remember much about age six so I just assumed it was mostly shiny and happy. I remember loving school, after all!

My memory is obviously faulty.

It’s always been amazing to watch Jack’s mind work, but now it’s getting scary. He understands – and correctly uses – sarcasm. He imagines up new species and describes their evolution – and it sounds plausible (and sometimes it’s a real thing that he thought he made up!). He states facts about science that *I* have to look up. His mind is getting sharper while mine is slowing down.

He is getting smarter than me, people!

He doesn’t know that, though. He’s still under the impression that adults know everything (although he argues anyway) and he doesn’t want to be an adult quite yet because he’s intimidated by how much it seems he has to learn first. Still, he wants to be important and he wants to be heard. He’s just unsure whether that is a function of age or something else. The uncertainly and anxiety have given him a raging case of “short man syndrome.” And the best person to take that shit out on?

MOM.

At least in our family it’s that way. Sure, Jack is a jerk to his other parents, too, but I seem to draw most of his ire. Maybe it’s because I’m the reminder of how much he has yet to learn. Maybe it’s because he feels safe and secure with me, thus he can act like a complete asshat and know that I will still love him 150%. Or perhaps it’s just a function of the mother-son relationship. I don’t really know.

In any case, I now know that it’s not about me.

And now I’m telling you all, too, so you don’t agonize like I have been: it’s not about you.

You’re welcome.

[Jack is seven soon. Please tell me the madness stops...]

Filed Under: Babyman, Parenting 101 Tagged With: , , , , , , 3 Comments

A Plant In A Boot Saves The Day

April 26, 2013 By

Jack has these meltdowns sometimes. He gets so agitated and upset that he starts making all kinds of noises – growling and moaning and seething. He kicks and hits things and looks wild-eyed. He rocks and flails. He is SO UPSET and his whole body shows it. He radiates stress.

When he was a toddler, it wasn’t that big of a deal. It sucked, but it was usually in connection with being overtired and overstimulated. The best way to handle it was to let him go at it in a darkened room. He was smaller and less destructive then.

Waiting it out is harder these days. He can cause real damage to himself and the stuff around him. The dark room doesn’t seem to penetrate the haze and he gets even more upset if we try to hold and hug him.

So last night when Jack went into his tailspin (because I had demonstrated to him why I didn’t like to be climbed on), I was at a loss. He didn’t want to be held or massaged or even talked to. I tried anyway, but he was completely out of control of his own faculties and I had to just get out of the way lest I get kicked in the face. When I reached the point where I just wanted to yell at him to STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT, I realized I needed to leave the room.

I traded places with David and he wasn’t much more successful than I was. Instead of Jack calming down, the tension kept building. David tried to get him to think of happier things but that just seemed to piss him off more. Finally, David passed the torch back to me and left the room.

A few minutes later he came back, this time with one of Jack’s plants. He had recently planted some Dragon Tongue beans and the sprouts are shooting up fast. Jack started to calm when he saw the sprout, and then he had an idea. He asked for a boot and David complied. Then Jack created an ode to WALL-E:

This helped immensely! You can’t help but smile at a plant in a boot, right?

I then offered to read one more chapter from The Strange Case of Origami Yoda (<-sponsored) so that Jack had a bit more time to wind down and all was then well with the world.

But who would have predicted that a plant in a boot would do the trick? What will the solution be next time??

Filed Under: Parenting 101, Photos Tagged With: , , , , , 4 Comments

I Hate Cancer

April 23, 2013 By

I hate that it turns my affable little boy into a wild animal who growls and beats on everything in site.

I hate that a temperature of 99 degrees leaves me worrying that he is getting sick. I mean, it’s elevated by .04 degrees! That should mean nothing!

I hate that my heart breaks anew on a regular basis. Today it happened when Jack melted down for no real reason, then told me about his friend’s brother who got cancer in “a place we don’t talk about” (he pointed to his genitals). That is so SCARY for a little boy!

I hate that much of our quality time has been taken up by dressing changes and medication and doctor appointments and blood tests.

I hate that my own health has suffered, as well.

I hate that we don’t know what’s going on in Jack’s body, that we have to blindly trust that the medications are working.

I hate the fact that all the immunizations he had may be wiped out.

I hate that we have to deal with school and work when what we really need is a mental health day (week/month/year).

Much to my surprise, I hate that Jack doesn’t energetically pop out of bed on his own at 7am like he used to.

I hate that I have to give my child poison and make him feel even worse and risk damaging his vital organs.

I hate that I have to be strong for him when all I want to do is hide under the covers and cry.

I hate that I can’t wrap my brain around money because of all the stress…and I hate the credit card debt that has resulted.

I hate being so sapped and bone tired all the time.

I hate that I no longer have the time or energy to devote to friendships and family members and taking more than decent care of myself.

I hate that cancer is on my mind ALL.THE.TIME.

I hate the constant pull to just give up – that I can’t possibly listen to even a little bit.

Cancer is bullshit and I hate it. A lot.

Filed Under: Cancer, Cancer Mom, Illness Tagged With: , , , , , 5 Comments
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