Bootstraps

Genmaicha ("brown rice tea", Japanes...

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It’s been a pretty rough couple of weeks for me.  For a lot of others, too, I know.  While I sit here munching on candy corn and drinking a soothing cup of tea, I thought I would list some of my favorite things.

What are some of your favorite things?
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World AIDS Day

I first wrote about my dad on this blog here.  Here is another piece of our story.

My dad got sick when I was 9 or so (and he was 28). He was in and out of the hospital but we (his 4 kids) weren’t told why. He lost his job when they found out about his illness. He took a trip to Arizona to visit his best friend and see the place where we lived when I was a born, then he came back to Sacramento and was admitted to the hospital a short time later. He withered away there before being moved to a nursing home when there was nothing more they could do for him. Once he moved there, it was only a short time before he passed away.

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It’s unbelievable to me that that was 18 years ago.  Even more unbelievable is how much it still hurts me and how clear the memories are of him in that hospital bed.  I remember the hospital in more detail than I remember life before he got sick.  I remember the smell of the place he got transferred to once the hospital knew they could do nothing else for him.  I remember the morning he died and the years of swearing I saw sightings of him everywhere.  His death still haunts me.  I’m sure as an adult it is awful to see someone die from AIDS but as a kid it was terrifying, as well. My dad had such vitality, being an all-American type who was a star athlete, a musician, and an artist. In a matter of months, he went from being a strong, energetic man to being a skeletal human smaller than his young kids.

Like I said, we weren’t told that my dad had AIDS. My mom told us that he had Meningitis and Encephalitis (which I think are the things that actually did him in). I was finally told the truth about a year after he died but was sworn to secrecy (even from my siblings). I can’t tell you how many times I sat silently through nasty comments about people with HIV/AIDS. I can’t even articulate how misinformed people are. I think it’s a shame that I had to keep it such a secret, when it would have been better to share my story and get people more familiar with who is affected by it. Back then it was still considered a gay disease and I am sure that all of the misinformation contributed to the state of things now with so many heterosexuals thinking they weren’t at risk. It’s very unfortunate that this disease is still wreaking havoc and so widespread. It’s sad that even now those suffering with it are discriminated against. It’s disappointing that after more than two decades of the disease there is no cure or vaccine. I hope to see one of those in my lifetime.

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Surprising stuff about Crystal

  1. I was a cheerleader (briefly).  I was good at it but didn’t get along with the other cheerleaders.
  2. I played basketball.  Yeah, I’m 5’2″ and yeah, I hate exercise.
  3. I took baton twirling lessons.
  4. I have an unreasonable dislike for Jodie Foster.
  5. I saw Star Wars fully for the first time this year.  (I loved Ewok Adventure as a kid, though – hence Ewokmama.)
  6. With very few exceptions, I won’t watch a movie twice.
  7. Speaking of movies, Casablanca made me angry.
  8. I wear my watch on my right hand (and I am right-handed).
  9. I’m incredibly goofy but I don’t like to be the center of attention.
  10. I don’t like surprises; they freak me out.

An Ewokmama Interview

Amy at Musings of a Crunchy Domestic Goddess sent along these interview questions for me after I responded to her interview post.  Thanks for letting me participate, Amy; this was fun!

1) I’m a newbie to your blog. Can you tell me a bit about yourself and your family?

I am Crystal, age 26, administrative assistant, native Californian, and I enjoy reading, crafts (my latest obsession is quilting), board games, and television.  I am married to Joe, a Wisconsin transplant, park ranger extraordinaire, whom I met on the internet.  We were married right out of high school and celebrated our eight year annivesary in August.  After a surprise pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage in 2005, we decided to make another go at expanding our family and added Jack to the mix in July of 2006.

2) I see that you are into cloth diapering. What have you found to be your favorite diapers so far?  

For the first year of Jack’s life, we used chinese prefolds and just loved them.  They are the workhorse diaper, they are cheap at about $2 a pop, and they are easy to wash.  Because they are cotton, they aren’t as finicky as other diaper types so the washing options are extensive and we never had a problem with wicking or smell.  We have since moved to mostly pockets (I can never leave a good thing alone) and have found Fuzzi Bunz to be our favorites.  The trim fit is awesome, and we have never had a leak.  They are particularly fantastic at night because they keep Jack dry while the inserts do an enormous amount of work to absorb moisture.  It amazes me when changing Jack in the morning just how much those suckers can hold without leaking!

3) I’ve noticed that you practice attachment parenting and work outside the home. Do you have any advice for other AP parents looking for childcare providers who will uphold their AP values?

I am still trying to make sense of it all myself, but we had the best results in finding a great daycare when we put together a list of our most important questions and went interviewing as a family.  Watching the provider’s interactions with the other kids is key.  For instance, we visited one daycare where the kids were eerily quiet.  Kids are rowdy by nature, testing limits and just having a good time, so I really wanted a place where I saw that behavior supported.

It was really important to us that we find someone who was willing to wear Jack in a carrier (because we *know* how much he likes to be held), follow his cues regarding food, communicate with us about his day to day activities, and do what it takes to make him content.  That last one is big.  A person who will run the gamet to find the solution that is right for the child is worth their weight in gold.

Daycare is your child’s second home, and that’s important to keep in mind when interviewing potential caregivers.  This person isn’t just watching children all day, they are guiding and nuturing and truly parenting the children.  Take the time to find someone who is as close to a second “you” as possible!

4) What little known fact about you might surprise some of your readers?

It might surprise some that I don’t come from a background that in any way reflects the way I live now.  There was a time in my life when I did things because that was the way my family did them, and that was the way I always thought they were done.  Joe opened my eyes quite a bit, especially regarding the environment, and then I really got more passionate about “green” living when I got pregnant.  Health and the environment were not even on the radar for my family and I suspect a lot of our health problems are results of that.  Sure, I turned out relatively okay, but I want better for my son.  I don’t ever want to choose the cheaper option over the healthier option which is completely opposite of how I grew up.

5) Let’s say you are going to be stranded with your family on a deserted island for 90 days. What 3 things would you take with you and why?

Ugh, my worst nightmare!  Well, I’ll assume that my husband’s environmental skills will help us find food and fresh water, so I guess we’ll take some comfort items.  I’d take a collection of fairy tales to read to Jack - that would be all we needed to keep him occupied!   A camera would be good – gotta document our bad fortune, of course.  Perhaps we could also take our Ergo so that we can easily explore the island with Jack, as well.  Can you tell I’m not very resourceful?  I am so out of my element outdoors!

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Now it’s your turn, dear readers. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words “Interview me.” I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions. If you don’t have a valid email address on your blog, please provide one. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

10 Things About Me

I was tagged by Nell for this one. I’m excited that there is someone out there who wants to know more about me! Here goes…

  1. I met Joe in a chat room online over 10 years ago. He was living in Wisconsin and I was in California; we were both 16. We met in person 3 months later, and were engaged 3 months after that. We’ve been married since 1999.
  2. I lost my dad to AIDS in when I was 10. This was a secret in my family for a long time, even from me, and I still feel anxious when I tell someone.
  3. I had a natural child birth planned, but ended up being induced at 41.5 weeks. This led to getting dosed with pitocin when I didn’t progress quickly enough, but I slid home with no pain medication. I am proud of myself for this and happy with the birth, although I will not cave to the doctor’s wish to induce next time (if there is a next time).
  4. I like crafts. I’ve dabbled in beaded jewelery, rubber stamping, scrapbooking, knitting, and quilting. I’m not very good at knitting, although I love yarn.
  5. I took four college classes and then quit going to school. I may go back someday if I can come up with a career goal that keeps my interest for more than a second. Right now I’m torn between social work, lactation consultant, finance, human resources, English, photography, and child development/psychology. Do you see why I don’t go to school?
  6. I question everything, so don’t ever be offended if I don’t take your word for it. It’s not that I doubt what is being said; I just want to make sense of it all for myself. I need more information to do that. Google was made for people like me – I love to research!
  7. I have a nose piercing. I got it because I think my looks give others the impression that I am super young and sweet. I wanted something that would give the hint that I’m not quite what I seem. Aside from my ear piercings, this is the only thing marking my body.
  8. It is difficult for me to make and keep friends. This is most likely because I have social anxiety, trouble opening up emotionally, and I am not a good conversationalist. Also, I am unforgiving (although I’m working on this) and too honest.
  9. I am atheist. This doesn’t mean I am lacking in morals/ethics, it just means that I don’t use a book or person I’ve never met to tell me what is right (consideration for others is something everyone should have, regardless of belief). Unfortunately, this somehow makes me the least trusted minority in America.
  10. I have three cats. Wicket is a full-bred Tonkinese, Lyra is a rescued tabby/Siamese mix, and Blue is a tabby we adopted from a friend.

Tag time (I’ll just do one but anyone else who wants can participate, as well):

Zen Mama