Desmond is 3 Years Old!

Are you as surprised as I am that Desmond is turning 3? It is true that time goes even faster the second time around. I only vaguely remember that first year before the constant running around and chitchat…

Dez is still a very active child. He loves to jump on the bed and off the arm of the couch (over and over). He uses a stepstool to get up into everything. He’ll rummage in my purse and dump his blocks all over the living room floor while spinning in a circle. He loves to chase his big brother and play “swords” with pool noodles.

He does have a lot more chill moments these days, though. He will sit and entertain himself with videos on YouTube Kids or by playing with his cars or legos. It’s pretty fun to watch him with his cars. He makes the cars talk to each other; typically this involves the cars crashing together, then one asking the other, “Are you okay?” “I’m okay,” the car replies before the cycle starts again.

toddler talking to a line of cars

He loves to line up his cars and talk to them.

Cars are definitely the number one toy obsession. Every day Dez takes 4 of them to daycare. His favorite is Lightening McQueen. The other three vary. For a while he would walk into daycare and hand McQueen to one of his friends, “Here you go, Zoey.” It was his morning ritual. One morning he looked at Zoey and said, “Oh, so cute, Zoey!” He’s going to be a charmer, this one.

Amelia, the daughter of our friends Rebecca and Tim, is Dez’s best friend. We have no family in town, so it is especially awesome that Dez and Mimi get along so well! When Rebecca and Tim come over to hang out, the kids run around with each other and jump on the bed together. This past Easter they hunted eggs together in the front yard. Every morning Dez says, “I wanna see Mimi!” And off to daycare he goes to see her.

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Dez and Mimi hunting eggs at Easter.

Dez is quite good at making it known what he wants, whether with words or a tantrum. His speech has gotten a lot better and he talks a ton! His favorite thing lately is to ask, “What’s that sound?” He will ask it over and over and over and over. And over. To get out of answering a billion times, I try to turn it around with a “What do you think it is?” Sometimes that works, and sometimes he just goes back to “What’s that sound, Mama?” Usually the sound is a car driving down the street–his favorite sound.

(Funny story! We were driving to daycare one morning and a commercial came on with Gilbert Godfried doing the voiceover. “What’s that sound?” Dez wondered. After a pause, he answered his own question with “Monsterrr.” Ha!)

Dez can also count to 10 and knows his colors. He knows his letters, too, although I haven’t heard him sing the alphabet song.

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We recently took Dez to an outdoor concert…where he tried to sing loudly over the band.

In addition to talking, Dez loves to sing. He loves to sing LOUDLY. His favorite tune is “Finger Family” (ugh! Thanks, YouTube!), followed by “Johnny Johnny” or whatever it’s called. Dez will lay down at night and croon loudly and off key, “Daddy finger, daddy finger, where are YOOOOOUUUUUU?” It would be hilarious if we weren’t trying to get some sleep!

Speaking of sleep…it’s still not great. Most nights he doesn’t go to sleep until 10 or 10:30, and it requires one of us (usually Dave) lying down with him. If Dave escapes during the night to go back to our bed, Dez will be up at some point in the night to drag me into his room. Then he’s up bright and early at 6:30 most days (although a cold has had him sleeping until almost 8am on some mornings lately AND he slept through the night two nights in a row! It was bliss!).

Dez is very affectionate, which helps balance out the toddler difficulties. Every morning he bursts out of his room to find me and give me a hug. Is there anything sweeter than a toddler wrapping his hands around you and laying his head on your shoulder? He still has that smooth baby skin and squishy cheeks and I just want to eat him. I try to hold onto those moments because in a flash he is off and getting into things.

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Dez is very affectionate AND loves his big brother.

Lastly, food. He is a little piggy! He pretty much eats his weight in watermelon every week. He likes fruits, veggies, toast, rice, eggs, Annie’s yogurt (and ONLY Annie’s yogurt!), and usually wants a bite of whatever it is we are eating. He’s started eating chicken nuggets (nuggets shaped like letters were the gateway; now he’ll eat dino shapes, too). He is also addicted to fruit snacks (“snack snacks”) and is quite the candy fiend. I should have never let him have candy! It’s so much harder to avoid this stuff with an older kid around… He still doesn’t drink milk or juice, though. He’s not big into cheese, either. Weird kid.

All in all, Dez is a fun, energetic, silly, and lovely boy. I’m very much enjoying watching him grow up!

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Happy birthday, little buddy!

Happy Second Birthday To My Second-Born!

It’s been two whole years since this little spitfire shot into our world.

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He was so chill and easy in the beginning, but we have learned that those first few months of peace were just the calm before the storm.

Before Hurricane Dezaroo hit.

And now he is TWO! This quote illustrates this stage of life perfectly, I think:

“It’s saying no. That’s your first hint that something’s alive. It says no. That’s how you know a baby is starting to turn into a person. They run around saying no all day, throwing their aliveness at everything to see what it’ll stick to. You can’t say no if you don’t have desires and opinions and wants of your own. You wouldn’t even want to. No is the heart of thinking.”
― Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two

He says no. A lot. Mostly, “NOOO DOGGYYYYYY!!” He thinks Lambert is trying to steal his food, which is pretty funny considering he throws said food to Lambert when he’s finished eating it himself.

Sigh.

He has already taught me a lot in his two years. Mostly I have learned that everything I thought I knew from parenting Jack would be useless while parenting Dez. My two kids could not be more different! Although, they both have loads of personality, so I guess they have that in common.

Dez is active and loud and tests boundaries. He already struggles with major FOMO (fear of missing out) and fights sleep more than any other human being I know. He climbs and jumps and dances and runs and throws balls – he is always moving. He has a mean arm on him, too! Just the other day I found a golf ball in the garbage disposal.

If he doesn’t play ALL of the sports as he grows, I will be shocked!

It seems like the time has gone so fast. I barely remember his infancy. I miss that brief time when I could set him down and he couldn’t go anywhere! He is definitely now more of a little boy than a baby, and so very independent.

We weaned at the end of June and he did very well. He learned to sleep through the night at the same time (hallelujah! I finally got some sleep! Huge props to David for parenting solo for a week, which allowed this to happen!). A few weeks later we tried to separate our bed from the crib but…Dez climbed right over the side of the crib. So he was unceremoniously moved into his own (safe)room.

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Little toddler, big room!

The transition to his big boy room has not been easy, but it’s been a couple weeks now and he is adjusting. And so are we; we are figuring out that most things with Dez are just going to happen the hard way!

I’m sure we’ll get used to it, right?

Or, at least, it will all be worth it just to have this amazing, vibrant little boy in our life!

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Happiest of birthdays, Desmond. Mama loves you like crazy!

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The Terrible Toddler

Life with a toddler is full of surprises. Also, exhaustion.

A few days before Christmas (2015), at 15 months old, Dez took a few unassisted steps. He didn’t walk again until late February. At that point he spent about half his time lurching like a miniature Frankenstein’s monster and the other half of the time he crawled (or walked on his knees) at such a quick pace that he wore holes through the knees of his pants.

No joke!

This kid does things at his own weird, erratic pace.

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Check out those baby blues!

He is now almost 20 months old and walking full time. He gets into EVERYTHING. He climbs onto the dining room chairs, tries to climb onto the table, opens the front door if we forget to lock it behind us, and attempts to throw all kinds of things into the toilet.

He is so active! We are so tired! Jack did not prepare us for this.

Desmond’s favorite past times are throwing balls, riding on his plastic tractor, eating constantly, removing his socks and making us put them back onto his feet, bossing the dog around, and endangering himself in some way.

Stairs are fun for toddlers.

Stairs are fun for toddlers. Less fun for parents.

He has eight teeth, and two molars are sloooooowly making an appearance.

Sleep is hard to come by in this house. I don’t believe that he’s slept through the night yet. (Yeah, you read that right – 20 months and has likely never slept through the night! Yes, I’m a little dead inside.) Since we co-sleep it’s mostly all a blur… He’s also still incredibly difficult to put to bed. We have started to use a sound machine at night in hopes of creating a more inviting sleep environment. Fingers crossed that it works and we start having easier bedtimes. We are pretty sick of tag-teaming to deal with hour-long tantrums at bedtime.

He’s also been fighting diaper changes for over a year now! Case in point:

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Diaper changes are the worst!

BUT! Just recently we discovered a show on Amazon Prime called Tumble Leaf.

TUMBLE LEAF IS MAGIC!

We turn Tumble Leaf on and Dez throws his arms straight up in the air and yells YAAAAAAY! He then lays down and stays still for a diaper change. It’s amazing! In fact, David told me that finding that show is my greatest life achievement. I think that illustrates just how awful the diaper change fights have been.

While Jack was speaking in sentences around this age, Dez has maybe 10 words (in English):

mama
daw (dog)
Jah (Jack)
tok (sock)
suu (shoe)
ball
hi
byebye
nigh-nigh
yay

Apparently, though, he knows some Cantonese, the first language of his daycare provider. It took us a while to catch on – he was telling us for months that he was hungry (“mum mum” in Cantonese means “want to eat”) and we had no idea. Chances are he can say a lot more than we understand.

Dez is cute and sweet when he is not driving us nuts. He loves to snuggle and nurse, sits on our laps to read a book or watch a show, and does goofy things like wearing his sunglasses on his forehead.

Toddler in sunglasses

Too cool to wear sunglasses properly.

Still, we wish he would sleep more.

Oh, What A Year

Desmond is one year old.

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Desmond looking handsome in a bow tie at his first birthday party.

That statement makes me want to laugh and cry and shake my head and hide all at the same time. Where has the time gone? How can I slow it down?

That seven-pound, one-ounce boy who shot into the world last September is now a real person and not just a squishy baby. He has preferences and makes them known! He has a firm place here in our lives and it’s inconceivable that there was ever a time he wasn’t around.

At his recent well baby check-up, Dez weighed in at 21lb. 12oz. and measured slightly over 30″ (they measured twice but didn’t get an accurate reading because he refuses to lay down and be still). [Side note: I’ve gotten quite good at putting diapers on while Desmond is on his hands and knees or standing up.]

David and I sat talking the other night (a rare moment when the house is quiet and we can both still communicate before passing out) about our second son and his future. He is a driven little guy. Dez never stops moving, seeking, daring. We already know he is going to test our limits more than Jack ever has – this kid has no fear. Not only that, but when he is doing something he knows he’s not supposed to do, he hesitates and looks back to make SURE we are watching him – once he has our attention, he cackles and goes for it! He is one cheeky little dude.

Peek a boo

Dez playing peek a boo

At a year, he is on the verge of so many things. We are hearing the beginnings of words. They all kind of sound the same, and he is very selective about using them, but I’m pretty sure he says dog and Jack. When Dez can’t see his dad, he stands at the baby gate holding the bars and yelling, “DAAAAHHH!” over and over until David shows up.

Baby yelling

Dez yelling, “Daaaahhh!”

By the end of our recent trip to the east coast, he squeaked out a “bye” and finally learned to wave (although, again, he does so selectively and often AFTER the person is out of sight). He says a lot of unintelligible things, as well – in particular he seems to love making a grand gesture by throwing his arm in the air and letting out a stream of baby babble as if he were giving a speech.

I’m hoping one day I can say, “Desmond is a great speaker” and NOT “my second son is a dictator.”

He is, in a word, ACTIVE. He is cruising on the furniture, crawling super fast (and only in the last few weeks have I noticed he’s on all fours instead of on his belly), climbing over the dog, and he took to the stairs at his grandparents’ and aunt’s houses as if he had climbed them before in a dream.

Baby climbing the stairs

Climbing the stairs at 11 months.

He loves to throw a ball and is surprisingly good at it! He digs being chased around the couch or peeking over the back at whomever is sitting there. He has recently developed a keen sense of whether the baby gate is open even when it’s out of his site and will stop whatever he is doing (often, nursing) and propel himself toward it. One of us then has to dash across the room to shut the gate just before his little fingers get in the way. Dez then wails loudly until we distract him with something else (“Dez! Look at the ball popper!”).

That kid loves to eat, as well. He waves his arms excitedly when food appears and demands to be fed – especially if others around him are eating. Yogurt melts and puffs are his favorite snacks, but he will try anything from egg salad to meatballs (making good use of his six teeth). Food makes him pretty freakin’ happy. Oh wait – EXCEPT cake! We’ve tried cake twice and he threw it on the floor both times. How in the world is this kid related to me?

Baby with first cake

Dez about to chuck his vanilla cream cheese birthday cake onto the floor.

Dez expresses love for us now and it’s the cutest thing! Yesterday Jack was upset and climbed into my lap for hugs. Dez piled on, laying his head against Jack’s back and started patting Jack’s shoulder. And when we wake up in the morning Dez likes to climb all over his dad and me and lay his head on our shoulders. He shares things – he always shows me the star map on his dad’s phone and, less awesome, he shares his food with the dog.

We have our challenges with him. Aside from the fatigue that comes with chasing an active toddler (or reading every book that he shoves in our faces), there is also the fact that he still doesn’t sleep through the night. Jack didn’t sleep through the night at this age, either, so I’m not concerned but I AM tired. Not only that, but many nights David is the only one who can get Dez to go to sleep. That usually involves holding him, SHHing, and letting him thrash and cry until he passes out. He used to fall asleep to me nursing him, but no more (except for naps). I don’t know what that’s about. There is also the fact that he won’t stay still during diaper changes, as I mentioned before.

Separation anxiety is at a peak right now, too. Dez hates it when anyone leaves the room, but especially when I leave the room. He also has stranger anxiety and had no idea what was going on when Jack came home having cut all his hair off this past weekend! Desmond could not get into my arms – and away from his brother – fast enough. On the bright side, I suppose that means he is good and attached to us. And luckily he warms up to other people fairly quickly.

So…here we are beginning the journey into year two. I find myself both excited and sad. I can’t wait to see what Dez is going to do next, but at the same time I want to savor the moments when my child is still small and roley-poley and his world is fairly simple. After all, I am keenly aware of how quickly nine years can pass.

All in all, I’m so thankful for this sweet boy and count myself as one lucky mama.

Daddy and toddler

Dez and Daddy

Jack Is 9 Years Old

My first baby turned 9 years old on Monday. It’s simply unfathomable to me that 9 years have passed since Jack was born – nearly a decade since he was conceived. As I wrote in his birthday card, there must be magic or trickery involved in the passage of time because it feels like only yesterday that he was born.

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Proof he was once a baby…

Jack has grown and changed so much in his 9 years. It’s highlighted especially next to his babbling, roley-poley baby brother who can’t walk or say a single sentence. Jack is writing poems and stories and reading novels. He has ideas about how the world works – and he expresses them clearly – and they are all his own. He is goofy and laughing one minute, and the next politely requesting that I not jokingly call him a weirdo. He is 4’4″ – less than a foot of height separates us now! His feet are sure to eclipse mine in size soon, too.

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Tween boy!

There are still some very kid-like qualities to him, of course. He still prefers imaginative games over board games. Although his diet does not resemble that of most kids (he would live on raw fruits and veggies if he could), he is still a pretty selective eater. He has branched out a bit – in the last 6 months or so he finally decided he liked pizza – but for the most part he eats like he did when he was 3. He loves to draw (as he has since he was 2), and has taken a liking to coloring, as well. He still loves to have books read to him before bed – we just finished Nightbirds on Nantucket and Harriet the Spy, and now we are reading The Tale of Despereaux and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. He could easily read these books to himself (he is reading Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire on his own) but he is attached to the routine and loves the one-on-one time. (I love it, too.)

Jack is a cerebral kid – always has been. He has zero interest in sports and other physical pursuits, although he does run around on the playground with his friends (as long as they are imagining they are monsters or aliens at the time). He loves science fiction and is currently devouring any form of media on aliens he can find. He was perfectly happy to get a bunch of books for birthday presents this year – something that initially bummed him out at his 8th birthday party (although he appreciated it later). He poses questions about the world that are incredibly challenging to answer – and he likes to listen to science and history podcasts with me.

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Looking spiffy in a suit and tie.

Our relationship has changed somewhat, partially due to his age and partially due to the addition of Desmond to the family. I’m less the default parent that he turns to when he needs something. This has made his bond with David much stronger, and Jack seems to want to learn from David more and more. He has grown more independent, as well – he will disappear into his bedroom for extended periods of time to read or write or just be by himself.

He is such a sensitive, caring kid. He is funny and kind. He is smart, quirky, and just seems to have a special light inside of him.

I’m so glad that I get to be his mom and watch him grow up.

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