The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sleeper

I have no idea what this kid needs from us. I am sure that we’re doing everything wrong, though.

It feels like we have tried everything to get him to have good sleep habits and yet…nearly every night involves screaming and kicking and throwing things and hours of time. Frustration and anger and tears and…youtube videos.

Yes…as a last resort, we are now regularly putting him to bed with youtube videos.

That is the wrong thing, I know. But what is the right thing for this child? Because we have tried everyfuckingthing and this seems to be the only thing that ends with him sleeping without us completely losing our minds in the process!

Even so, bedtime is a nightmare. We feel powerless. I personally get so dejected and angry when I finally leave the room (usually some time after 10pm). Hence, this blog post…

David takes on bedtime most nights now because it has taken a serious toll on my mental health. He fares better than I do, but he can’t do it every night. It wears a person down.

I want a toddler who sleeps through the night.

Still true.

It doesn’t end there, either. Dez sleeps for a couple of hours before waking and he will throw a gigantic hour+ long screaming fit if I don’t tend to him in the middle of the night. Sometimes we go the screaming route with Dave going in there while I try to ignore it and stay in bed and get some sleep through the noise. Other times, I take one for the team and head in there. We try to take turns because once we go in, we usually do not emerge again until morning.

The parent who goes in there gets a toddler velcro treatment. With me that means Dez scoots his face right up to mine, breathes his hot toddler breath on me, and locks his hands around my head. He falls asleep peacefully while I try to breathe air that isn’t coming out of his mouth and hope I can get back to sleep while locked in his embrace. All night long it’s a game of “shove the toddler over to get some space and a few independent winks” and “oh look here he is right in my face again.”

I probably don’t need to tell you that I don’t sleep well like this. I am pretty sure Dez is the only one on the planet who does!

And I haaaaaate it.

I keep trying to come at this sleep thing from different angles, try to analyze the situation and read tips and…nothing. Nothing helps. It looks like we will just have to get through it. Sigh.

This is not a request for sleep advice (and good lord, please do not email me trying to sell me something!), just an exasperated rant from a very tired mom.

Please let this child figure this sleep thing out. 2+ years of shitty sleep cannot be good for any of us.

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Happy Second Birthday To My Second-Born!

It’s been two whole years since this little spitfire shot into our world.


He was so chill and easy in the beginning, but we have learned that those first few months of peace were just the calm before the storm.

Before Hurricane Dezaroo hit.

And now he is TWO! This quote illustrates this stage of life perfectly, I think:

“It’s saying no. That’s your first hint that something’s alive. It says no. That’s how you know a baby is starting to turn into a person. They run around saying no all day, throwing their aliveness at everything to see what it’ll stick to. You can’t say no if you don’t have desires and opinions and wants of your own. You wouldn’t even want to. No is the heart of thinking.”
― Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two

He says no. A lot. Mostly, “NOOO DOGGYYYYYY!!” He thinks Lambert is trying to steal his food, which is pretty funny considering he throws said food to Lambert when he’s finished eating it himself.


He has already taught me a lot in his two years. Mostly I have learned that everything I thought I knew from parenting Jack would be useless while parenting Dez. My two kids could not be more different! Although, they both have loads of personality, so I guess they have that in common.

Dez is active and loud and tests boundaries. He already struggles with major FOMO (fear of missing out) and fights sleep more than any other human being I know. He climbs and jumps and dances and runs and throws balls – he is always moving. He has a mean arm on him, too! Just the other day I found a golf ball in the garbage disposal.

If he doesn’t play ALL of the sports as he grows, I will be shocked!

It seems like the time has gone so fast. I barely remember his infancy. I miss that brief time when I could set him down and he couldn’t go anywhere! He is definitely now more of a little boy than a baby, and so very independent.

We weaned at the end of June and he did very well. He learned to sleep through the night at the same time (hallelujah! I finally got some sleep! Huge props to David for parenting solo for a week, which allowed this to happen!). A few weeks later we tried to separate our bed from the crib but…Dez climbed right over the side of the crib. So he was unceremoniously moved into his own (safe)room.

toddler room

Little toddler, big room!

The transition to his big boy room has not been easy, but it’s been a couple weeks now and he is adjusting. And so are we; we are figuring out that most things with Dez are just going to happen the hard way!

I’m sure we’ll get used to it, right?

Or, at least, it will all be worth it just to have this amazing, vibrant little boy in our life!

toddler on a swing

Happiest of birthdays, Desmond. Mama loves you like crazy!


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Nearly Three

Wow, I can’t believe Jack is almost 3.  Is he even still a toddler or is he now considered a preschooler?  Holy crap, where did the time go?  I am suddenly so aware of the fact that he is growing up quickly and even though I love the stage he is in, I also miss my baby!  (This is how it starts, isn’t it??)

Here are some notes on Jack at 2.75 years:

  • His favorite foods are Babybel cheese rounds (“little red cheese”), Fuji apples (whole, not cut or peeled), almonds, “cupcakes” (usually banana muffins), and chocolate.  He loves to peel things – the wax off the cheese, the shell off an egg, the skin on an orange (although he doesn’t eat the orange).  He even throws wrappers and peels away.
  • He can count to at least 13 forward and backward, can identify many letters and all colors, and knows right from left.  Also, he has learned where Canada, the United States, and Mexico are on a globe (no joke).
  • He likes three books to be read to him before bed: Olivia and the Missing Toy, Olivia (original), and The Way Back Home (in that order).  Sometimes we will add A Color of His Own or How Does a Dinosaur Say Goodnight?
  • He is a favorite at daycare because he is super sweet, funny and quirky, and he always naps and eats and follows the rules.  For whatever reason, he doesn’t have bad days at daycare.  Also, everyone is his best friend.
  • He loves rockets, space, and astronauts.  He will watch any movie with space related things in it – Star Wars, Toy Story (Buzz is his favorite, of course), Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
  • His imagination is growing rapidly.  We had a discussion about what day it was and I cracked up when he said “no, it’s not Wednesday, it’s Mensday!”  He then went on to name many days that I have never heard of.  He also tells stories.  They usually begin with what happened at daycare and then get progressively unbelievable when he makes up new kids that were there or tells us he went to outer space.  And, of course, everything is a rocket from pens to carrots.
  • He spreads love all around.  Hugs and kisses and I miss yous and I love yous.  He asks for snuggles with me in the morning and throws his arm around “my cat Wicket, my best friend.”
  • His favorite song is No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.  Any time I try to sing anything else, he cuts me off to tell me “I don’t like that song!”
  • Physically he is much more agile than he was just a few months ago.  He is a better runner, is starting to figure out how to catch himself if he trips, and in his quest to grab things out of his reach (as in light switches) he has learned to use various pieces of furniture as stepping stools.  Oh joy.
  • He is pretty independent.  He insists on getting the things he wants out of the fridge, takes off his own shoes and puts them away, climbs into his carseat and walks up/down the stairs while holding on to the railing.  He of course gets frustrated when he can’t do something, like when someone beats him to opening or closing a door.
  • He sleeps well most nights.  More often than not, he sleeps through a whole 10 hours and still takes 2+ hour naps.  Can we breathe a sigh of relief?  ahhhhhhh.

There is so much more…I wish I could capture it all.  I am just lucky that I get to witness it all first hand most days.  🙂

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