Christmas on the east coast

December 27, 2009 By Leave a Comment

We had a wonderful Christmas.  I’m still trying to get back into the swing of things after being on the east coast for a week and we still have some celebrating to do with family and friends that we haven’t yet seen.  Our holiday has been quite spread out!

We flew to Maryland on the 16th to stay with my sister and her family.  Jack traveled wonderfully, which was a real blessing considering that our flight was moved 2 hours later and we nearly missed our connection.  Our entire day was full of travel!  Even so, we got lucky flying in when we did because the second night we were there, Maryland got a record-breaking 21″ of snow.  (Of course we had packed absolutely no snow gear.)

Before the snow hit, though, we got a fantastic visit in at the Air & Space Museum in Washington, D.C.  David gets all the credit for this idea and man, did Jack love it!  He was having a horrible day but as soon as we set foot in the museum his face lit up and he was bursting with excitement.  He got to see command modules, satellites, and astronaut gear.  I think David and I both felt so much joy to be able to fulfill that dream for Jack.

We had a nice white Christmas when we opened presents and stockings on Saturday.  The big hit this year for Jack was a combination of a cape, mask, and blaster cuffs from SuperFlyKidz on Etsy with The Incredibles movie.  Jack spent a lot of time as Mr. Incredible over the past week.  My 11 month old niece Sabrina was absolutely delighted with the stacking cups we got for her.  Between the two kids and David’s happiness with the MASH shirt I found for him, I felt like a Master Gifter this year!

On Sunday we drove down to Virginia.  We stopped in Quantico for a quick visit with my longtime friend Daniella and her family.  I briefly got to hold her new baby, who is an absolute DOLL.  (Being around my niece and Daniella’s little guy didn’t help my recently found baby fever at all…)  Thanks to the traffic from drivers struggling to get through the snow-laden highways, we were only able to visit for a brief time.  Daniella fed us and we got to have a nice chat, which was both fun and relaxing after the craziness of the road.

After our visit to Quantico, we made our way down to David’s parents house in Williamsburg.  This was Jack’s and my first time meeting our new in-laws.  We all got along right off the bat and I immediately felt like Jack and I were part of the family.  Spending the holiday together seemed to make our little step-family even more official, as well.  Jack and I are so blessed!

The trip home was long but went fairly smoothly.  There was a marked difference in how Jack traveled this year as compared to last year – there was not a gigantic meltdown at the end of our trip (although there were many little ones throughout the week) and Jack followed directions pretty well while we went through the airport.  I’m counting that as my gift from him this year.  :)

Filed Under: Adventures, Family, Holidays Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

The ending

August 22, 2009 By 2 Comments

It’s been over a year since Joe and I split up.  I was chatting with him recently and we agreed that it seems like a lifetime ago that we were married.  So much has happened in the past year that our previous life together seems unreal.  I can’t speak for his experience in all this, but I thought I would write a bit about my perspective.

The hardest part about a divorce, especially after 9 years of marriage, is figuring out the relationship with in-laws.  Being married at 18 means that I grew up with these people.  I spent every Christmas of the last decade with them.  I’m godmother to my niece Emily.  Joe’s mom was there for Jack’s birth and I work with Joe’s brother (which was a little awkward at first but is totally fine now).  I have struggled a lot with the question of whether divorce means that I lose these connections, if I give up the right to know what they are doing.  I am still hopeful that that is not the case.  How does one divorce a person without making their whole family feel divorced?  I still have no answer.

Another difficult aspect of a divorce, at least one with a child involved, is the part where you still have to deal with many of the issues that were there in the marriage.  A procrastinator spouse may be (endearingly) annoying, but when that person becomes your ex and you are suddenly dealing with waiting to hear back about a custody schedule change or something, it becomes a giant bone of contention.  After divorcing someone you end up dealing with the bad stuff without enough of the good stuff to balance it out.  That came as a bit of a surprise to me.  I did not realize that separation and divorce are not all that separate.

All in all I think our split has turned out better than anyone could have expected.  Jack is still the well-adjusted funny little kid he was before but now he gets dedicated time with each parent.  Both Joe and I have met wonderful people who make us fantastically happy.  Jack has four parents now to teach him and care for him, and we all bring different strengths to the equation.  When Joe and his girlfriend moved last month, David helped them.  It was surreal for me, having my boyfriend help out my ex-husband, but it is how I hoped things would be.  I feel very lucky be surrounded with people who want everything to go as smoothly as possible and recognize the importance of one another’s roles.  I feel lucky that everyone is moving on and finding happiness instead of continuing to struggle with a marriage that just wasn’t working.

Our divorce paperwork is in the final stages.  The papers are all filled out and in proper order but the courts are not making it easy on us.  The papers have been rejected twice and the second time was completely unexplained.  This last technicality lingers before I can have a final resolution to that story in my life.  I’m very much looking forward to the future.

Filed Under: Family, Getting my groove back Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,