What Love Is

September 22, 2010 By 7 Comments

I’m still in awe of the wedding.  It was perfect.  Everything came together better than David and I had even imagined.  We worked hard to make it what it was, but the icing on the cake came from our family and friends.  From my friend Beth chasing flowers down with FedEx (major failure on FedEx’s part!) to others running errands and assisting with putting it all together and tearing it all down again, I was continually amazed at the generosity of those surrounding us.  At some point in time I just had to shut off that inner voice that felt undeserving of all the help, otherwise I surely would have melted into the floorboards when GUESTS started cleaning our house at the end of the reception.  We even came home from our honeymoon to find that our friend Sarah had made our bed.  !!!

We are still flabbergasted.  There are not enough words, gifts, or thanks that can be said to convey our appreciation.  We feel loved, humbled, lucky and blessed.  I remember feeling this when I had Jack.  I recall when it all clicked that people love and want the best for me and my growing family.  The people in my life knew they couldn’t help with the really hard stuff, couldn’t take my place in the trench when things get really hard…so they did what they could to be a buffer.  They probably feel it is only a token, but to me it is an enormous gift.

David’s sister Laurie officiated our wedding.  It was her first time officiating a wedding but she did an amazing job.  I doubt she even knows how much her words will stay with me, and how well she captured the spirit of our wedding:

May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and in each other.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourselves just the way you are.

Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, laugh and love.  It is there for each and every one of us.  And today, surrounded by friends and family, it is there for the two of you.

Image by M. Hardina

We are loved.

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Villagers

August 27, 2009 By 2 Comments

I’m kind of a homebody mom.  I never thought I would be – I thought I’d be the mom that showed her kid the world in every way.  But no – I get nervous when I think about taking Jack out somewhere.  The logistics freak me out.

How is my 5’2″ self going to carry a 35lb+ kid and a diaper bag?  The kid refuses to sit in a stroller and LOVES being held by me.

What if he throws a fit because he doesn’t want to go?  What if he throws a fit because he doesn’t want to leave?

What am I going to pack for lunch? What if he gets too busy to eat?

What if this activity runs into naptime?

How much is this going to cost us?

Is it really worth it when he’d have just as much fun playing ninja fight at home with balloons and it wouldn’t interrupt meals and naptime?

It’s a major internal struggle for me and I have no idea where it comes from (other than I tend to be a worrier in general).  Sometimes we only make it to the backyard where Jack likes to dig in the dirt while I sit and read.  Sometimes I rush us out of the house before I can really think about anything, which usually happens within an hour of waking up and before I’ve had any coffee.  In essence, I trick myself.  It generally turns out alright, but it still doesn’t happen frequently.

Sometimes I beat myself up for being the type of parent who would rather sit and color with music playing than run around outdoors with her kid (echos of the common 1980s complaint that kids these days don’t spend enough time outdoors in my head), and then I remembered one of the Psychology classes I took a few years ago.  What sticks out in my mind from that class is the discussion we had about the purpose behind having multiple parents (as in – what is the evolutionary purpose and why can’t we procreate singularly?).  We talked about the fact that everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

When you are part of a team, such as with two parents (or, in our case, four), the major perk is that there are others to fill in the gaps in the collective knowledge base.  In Jack’s life, he has a mom who is a self-described “indoors girl” and a father that is a completely outdoorsy guy.  Jack’s step-parents offer further strengths.  Collectively we’re all part of Jack’s village and somehow we’ve struck a great balance in this little community.  When I look at the bigger picture, it all makes sense, and I really think Jack is lucky in so many ways.

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