Oh, What A Year

Desmond is one year old.

Desmond's 1st birthday

Desmond looking handsome in a bow tie at his first birthday party.

That statement makes me want to laugh and cry and shake my head and hide all at the same time. Where has the time gone? How can I slow it down?

That seven-pound, one-ounce boy who shot into the world last September is now a real person and not just a squishy baby. He has preferences and makes them known! He has a firm place here in our lives and it’s inconceivable that there was ever a time he wasn’t around.

At his recent well baby check-up, Dez weighed in at 21lb. 12oz. and measured slightly over 30″ (they measured twice but didn’t get an accurate reading because he refuses to lay down and be still). [Side note: I've gotten quite good at putting diapers on while Desmond is on his hands and knees or standing up.]

David and I sat talking the other night (a rare moment when the house is quiet and we can both still communicate before passing out) about our second son and his future. He is a driven little guy. Dez never stops moving, seeking, daring. We already know he is going to test our limits more than Jack ever has – this kid has no fear. Not only that, but when he is doing something he knows he’s not supposed to do, he hesitates and looks back to make SURE we are watching him – once he has our attention, he cackles and goes for it! He is one cheeky little dude.

Peek a boo

Dez playing peek a boo

At a year, he is on the verge of so many things. We are hearing the beginnings of words. They all kind of sound the same, and he is very selective about using them, but I’m pretty sure he says dog and Jack. When Dez can’t see his dad, he stands at the baby gate holding the bars and yelling, “DAAAAHHH!” over and over until David shows up.

Baby yelling

Dez yelling, “Daaaahhh!”

By the end of our recent trip to the east coast, he squeaked out a “bye” and finally learned to wave (although, again, he does so selectively and often AFTER the person is out of sight). He says a lot of unintelligible things, as well – in particular he seems to love making a grand gesture by throwing his arm in the air and letting out a stream of baby babble as if he were giving a speech.

I’m hoping one day I can say, “Desmond is a great speaker” and NOT “my second son is a dictator.”

He is, in a word, ACTIVE. He is cruising on the furniture, crawling super fast (and only in the last few weeks have I noticed he’s on all fours instead of on his belly), climbing over the dog, and he took to the stairs at his grandparents’ and aunt’s houses as if he had climbed them before in a dream.

Baby climbing the stairs

Climbing the stairs at 11 months.

He loves to throw a ball and is surprisingly good at it! He digs being chased around the couch or peeking over the back at whomever is sitting there. He has recently developed a keen sense of whether the baby gate is open even when it’s out of his site and will stop whatever he is doing (often, nursing) and propel himself toward it. One of us then has to dash across the room to shut the gate just before his little fingers get in the way. Dez then wails loudly until we distract him with something else (“Dez! Look at the ball popper!”).

That kid loves to eat, as well. He waves his arms excitedly when food appears and demands to be fed – especially if others around him are eating. Yogurt melts and puffs are his favorite snacks, but he will try anything from egg salad to meatballs (making good use of his six teeth). Food makes him pretty freakin’ happy. Oh wait – EXCEPT cake! We’ve tried cake twice and he threw it on the floor both times. How in the world is this kid related to me?

Baby with first cake

Dez about to chuck his vanilla cream cheese birthday cake onto the floor.

Dez expresses love for us now and it’s the cutest thing! Yesterday Jack was upset and climbed into my lap for hugs. Dez piled on, laying his head against Jack’s back and started patting Jack’s shoulder. And when we wake up in the morning Dez likes to climb all over his dad and me and lay his head on our shoulders. He shares things – he always shows me the star map on his dad’s phone and, less awesome, he shares his food with the dog.

We have our challenges with him. Aside from the fatigue that comes with chasing an active toddler (or reading every book that he shoves in our faces), there is also the fact that he still doesn’t sleep through the night. Jack didn’t sleep through the night at this age, either, so I’m not concerned but I AM tired. Not only that, but many nights David is the only one who can get Dez to go to sleep. That usually involves holding him, SHHing, and letting him thrash and cry until he passes out. He used to fall asleep to me nursing him, but no more (except for naps). I don’t know what that’s about. There is also the fact that he won’t stay still during diaper changes, as I mentioned before.

Separation anxiety is at a peak right now, too. Dez hates it when anyone leaves the room, but especially when I leave the room. He also has stranger anxiety and had no idea what was going on when Jack came home having cut all his hair off this past weekend! Desmond could not get into my arms – and away from his brother – fast enough. On the bright side, I suppose that means he is good and attached to us. And luckily he warms up to other people fairly quickly.

So…here we are beginning the journey into year two. I find myself both excited and sad. I can’t wait to see what Dez is going to do next, but at the same time I want to savor the moments when my child is still small and roley-poley and his world is fairly simple. After all, I am keenly aware of how quickly nine years can pass.

All in all, I’m so thankful for this sweet boy and count myself as one lucky mama.

Daddy and toddler

Dez and Daddy

Jack Is 9 Years Old

My first baby turned 9 years old on Monday. It’s simply unfathomable to me that 9 years have passed since Jack was born – nearly a decade since he was conceived. As I wrote in his birthday card, there must be magic or trickery involved in the passage of time because it feels like only yesterday that he was born.


Proof he was once a baby…

Jack has grown and changed so much in his 9 years. It’s highlighted especially next to his babbling, roley-poley baby brother who can’t walk or say a single sentence. Jack is writing poems and stories and reading novels. He has ideas about how the world works – and he expresses them clearly – and they are all his own. He is goofy and laughing one minute, and the next politely requesting that I not jokingly call him a weirdo. He is 4’4″ – less than a foot of height separates us now! His feet are sure to eclipse mine in size soon, too.


Tween boy!

There are still some very kid-like qualities to him, of course. He still prefers imaginative games over board games. Although his diet does not resemble that of most kids (he would live on raw fruits and veggies if he could), he is still a pretty selective eater. He has branched out a bit – in the last 6 months or so he finally decided he liked pizza – but for the most part he eats like he did when he was 3. He loves to draw (as he has since he was 2), and has taken a liking to coloring, as well. He still loves to have books read to him before bed – we just finished Nightbirds on Nantucket and Harriet the Spy, and now we are reading The Tale of Despereaux and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. He could easily read these books to himself (he is reading Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire on his own) but he is attached to the routine and loves the one-on-one time. (I love it, too.)

Jack is a cerebral kid – always has been. He has zero interest in sports and other physical pursuits, although he does run around on the playground with his friends (as long as they are imagining they are monsters or aliens at the time). He loves science fiction and is currently devouring any form of media on aliens he can find. He was perfectly happy to get a bunch of books for birthday presents this year – something that initially bummed him out at his 8th birthday party (although he appreciated it later). He poses questions about the world that are incredibly challenging to answer – and he likes to listen to science and history podcasts with me.


Looking spiffy in a suit and tie.

Our relationship has changed somewhat, partially due to his age and partially due to the addition of Desmond to the family. I’m less the default parent that he turns to when he needs something. This has made his bond with David much stronger, and Jack seems to want to learn from David more and more. He has grown more independent, as well – he will disappear into his bedroom for extended periods of time to read or write or just be by himself.

He is such a sensitive, caring kid. He is funny and kind. He is smart, quirky, and just seems to have a special light inside of him.

I’m so glad that I get to be his mom and watch him grow up.


10 Months Old

A catalog came in the mail a couple of days ago that advertised first birthday party supplies. It wasn’t until then that I realized that I need to start planning for Desmond’s first birthday. It’s only two months away – and the summer months tend to fly by at a quicker rate, it seems!

But let’s talk about Dez at 10 months. This recent picture caused me to dub him my muppet baby.

baby with crazy hair

Muppet baby!

It fits, no? That wide-mouthed grin and fuzzy hair is exactly the thing Jim Henson was all about. In fact, we’re thinking of dressing Dez up as Kermit the Frog for Halloween this year.

Or, even better in my opinion – Beaker!

Desmond doesn’t have real words yet, but that doesn’t stop him from orating steadily. He raises his hand to the air to call for attention and then lets out a steady stream of babble. It’s adorable. (Except when we’re trying to watch Orphan Black and can’t hear anything over his ranting.)

He is generally a happy little guy, but he does have a temper. When something is taken away from him (usually it’s a piece of fuzz he managed to find on the ground and attempted to eat) he stiffens his whole body, puts his arms down at his sides, and lets out a squeal of rage. He is pretty quick to get over it, though, once you distract him with something else – like the TV remote.

Baby with tv remote

Yessss Yessss, now I control it all!

He loves, loves, loves the TV remote. Our cell phones and the Playstation controller come in a close second. When he spots one of these items within his reach, he starts chuckling to himself. I’m sure he is saying to himself, “Yesssss, yesssss, I will soon have them all where I want them!”

Maybe he should be The Brain for Halloween…

He still prefers the army crawl over the more traditional crawl. He spends most of his time standing now, though, with a bit of cruising thrown in (if the TV remote is just out of reach). He hasn’t quite figured out how to get down from standing, so he usually just hangs out like that until his legs get weak and he falls over. Or he whines until we finally can’t stand it anymore and help him down (and then he cries because he didn’t want to get down, stupid parents!).

baby standing in crib

His two bottom teeth are in. One is slightly crooked, which just adds to Desmond’s charm. He’s getting more hair all the time, but the majority of it is still in the top middle of his head and it likes to stick straight up (see the part about being a muppet, above). I can no longer see any traces of positional plagiocephaly – which, whew! He still struggles with a nasty cough after his bout with RSV in April, though. He hacks like the most addicted little smoker, but it doesn’t slow him down. The pediatrician said he’ll likely grow out of it by age 2.

Food makes him incredibly happy. He will eat anything and seemingly never gets full! He is very demanding about sharing our food, particularly if that food is pizza or mashed potatoes. I now keep those little cereal puffs within reach at all times so that I can actually eat my meals.

baby eating mashed potatoes

Mashed potatoes on his face!

Dez can clap (which he does constantly), wave (which he does sometimes), reach for people, and he is starting to hold onto me when I carry him. He is ALWAYS moving, so he crawls off of me in the middle of nursing (but then always comes back for more) and he will not stay put on the changing table!

He loves the bath. He splashes and splashes, then cries when we take him out.

baby bath splash

We’ve started calling him the “gateway baby” – a term I first heard from comedian Jim Gaffigan. Think you don’t want kids? You may change your mind after meeting Dez – he is THAT charming!

We love our sweet second child and can’t imagine life without him!


Hanging with Mom.

Sharing Our Story About Pediatric Cancer

Saturday we attended the Grand Finale event for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Man & Woman of the Year campaign (Bay Area Chapter). Jack and Celia, the Boy and Girl of the Year, handed out the awards to the participants and the winners were announced. The grand total for the campaign was also announced – 10 weeks of fundraising resulted in $804,000 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Candidates who raised over $50,000 are able to directly choose a research grant to fund with that money. Pretty awesome!

I am hopeful that after my talks with some of the candidates, they are aware of the issues in childhood cancer treatment and will direct their funds toward those research grants.

Jack Boy of the Year

At dinner during the event, I sat next to the President & CEO of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Dr. DeGennaro. He is a very nice man and it was clear he cares deeply about what the organization does. I took the opportunity to let him know what it meant to us to be part of the Man & Woman of the Year campaign, and also to emphasize that we need more focus on new, better treatments for kids (an area that is consistently underfunded). He said it’s one of the issues at the forefront in his mind (as well as prevention!), and that one of the challenges with getting new treatments for kids is that many in the medical community see the high survival rates (over 90% for ALL, for instance) and think their work is done.

Researchers, physicians, and advocates…we are nowhere near done. Cancer treatment for kids takes YEARS and it’s incredibly hard on the whole family. While the treatments usually work, they are not great – they cause secondary cancers, organ damage, learning problems, and other terrible (and sometimes deadly) side effects. Most of the time during Jack’s treatment, I didn’t worry about the cancer killing him – I worried about infection, which was statistically more likely to be a problem.

Friends, this is my challenge to you – please share our family’s story whenever you can. My wish is to spread awareness and hopefully get more funding diverted to childhood cancer research – for reference, only 4% of federal funding is devoted to childhood cancer through the National Cancer Institute. This is despite the fact that cancer is the #1 disease killing children.

Here is our family’s interview video that was made as part of this campaign. Please feel free to share it far and wide.

Note: I’ve read that if you donate to LLS, you can earmark the funds for pediatric cancer research by making a note in the memo section that states: RESTRICTED TO PEDIATRIC BLOOD CANCER RESEARCH. Additionally, for those who are donating at least $10,000 LLS says you can tie your donation to a specific research portfolio.

Boy Of The Year

I’m writing to invite Jack to become an official Honoree for one of our campaigns: the Man & Woman of the Year. Man & Woman of the Year campaign is a national ten-week campaign where individuals compete to raise funds to help find cures for blood cancers. Candidates run in honor of the Boy & Girl of the Year, who are local blood cancer patients and survivors and sources of inspirations to others. The Boy and Girl represent thousands of patients who have been helped by LLS’s patient services and research, they are recognized at all events, in campaign marketing materials and on the LLS website.

I received the above from the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society at the end of January. I wanted to speak with Jack before agreeing to anything, as I knew it could go either way – on one hand, he loves to be helpful and I knew he would get a kick out of being “Boy of the Year.” On the other hand, he doesn’t much like talking about his experience with cancer and sometimes avoids being the center of attention. When I sat down to talk with him about it, however, I didn’t even finish the explanation before he exclaimed, “I’ll do it!” He was thrilled to be given this opportunity and said he would attend events, give interviews, anything they wanted him to do!

So, we agreed to participate in the program and Jack officially became the 2015 Boy of the Year for the Northern California Greater Bay Area chapter of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

Photos by Colson Griffith Photography - www.colsongriffith.com

Jack and the Girl of the Year (Celia) get along wonderfully! Seeing them together at the events, it’s clear that the LLS chose the right kids as honorees. They are both so full of life and sweet as can be. They absolutely hold their own at the events we’ve attended, and they stick together like they’ve known each other all their lives. The bond was immediate.

"Photos by Colson Griffith Photography - www.colsongriffith.com"

At the kickoff event we attended, I spoke briefly about our experience when Jack was diagnosed while Jack stood next to me and imitated everything I said. The crowd LOVED him.

"Photos by Colson Griffith Photography - www.colsongriffith.com"

I also mentioned the fact that when we found out Jack had cancer, the oncologist told us that ALL was “the best kind of cancer” to have. What she meant was that ALL is highly curable in children, but at the time this led me to think that maybe Jack would receive 6 months of treatment and then we could go on with our lives. That was so not the case (as you know) and so it was a second blow when I learned it would be more than 3 years of treatment. I emphasized this in my brief speech and I am emphasizing it again – this is why we need organizations like the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and all of the research and fundraising! Three years of treatment is too long for anyone, but especially for children.

Maybe with the help of LLS, we can get to  a 6-month treatment for these kids – if we can’t wipe out this horrendous disease altogether!

"Photos by Colson Griffith Photography - www.colsongriffith.com"

“We need YOUR help!”

This is why this campaign – very hopefully named Mission Possible – is important and why we are very happy to be part of it and promote the cause to wipe out blood cancers. We hope you’ll support the cause, as well, by donating to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, attending an event put on by Man & Woman of the Year candidates, and/or by purchasing tickets to attend the Grand Finale event at The Fairmont in San Francisco on June 6 (we’ll be there!). By supporting LLS’s efforts, you are supporting families like ours – and like yours.

"Photos by Colson Griffith Photography - www.colsongriffith.com"

Note: photo credit to Colson Giffith Photography.