I saw a post on Facebook recently that said something to the effect of, “Second kid, don’t be bummed you don’t have a baby book. Your parents enjoyed your babyhood more than your older sibling’s.”
I’m finding that to be very true!
I used to be a diehard baby book person. I kind of still am, at least in my head. I spent so much time during this pregnancy getting Desmond’s baby book all set up using Project Life, which is made up of cards that you just fill in with the details. I’ve got ultrasound photos and pictures of my shower and a few other notes in there.
But then…I haven’t filled anything else out in months. I just can’t get motivated to do it – I’m too busy living in the moment.
I am enjoying Desmond’s babyhood a lot more than I enjoyed Jack’s. I don’t doubt myself like I did with Jack. I am not dealing with Postpartum Depression or a flare of PTSD. I’m in a better marriage and we’re in a better financial position.
I cannot express how glad I am that I’ll never have to be a first-time mom again!
This time around, I get to stop and smell the flowers. I sit with Dez in the rocking chair and feel his weight in my arms, his head on my shoulder. I snuggle him close, smelling that baby smell, and kiss his soft, chubby cheek. I sing to him – he can’t tell me yet that I’m no good at it! – and have little chats and encourage him to keep trying to crawl (even while hoping he will slow down just a bit).
In general, there is less rushing about this time around – I know a diaper change doesn’t need to happen RIGHT THIS SECOND and it’s okay if the baby fusses a bit while I use the bathroom.
I know that a poor night of sleep is no indication of what the next night’s sleep will be like, so I can reassure myself that I’ll sleep eventually. I know anything can happen, but I also know chances are that we’ll all get through it just fine. I know the challenges make us smarter and stronger and better.
Desmond is a delightful baby. Jack was a delightful baby, too. The biggest difference in this equation is me! I’ve learned so much from these two amazing boys of mine – so much that I can’t even begin to put into a baby book.