Some Joy

May 18, 2012 By 2 Comments

Considering the last time I mentioned a house, we were going to wait to look for House #5, this may be surprising to hear, but we’re in escrow on House #6. Mmhmm.

Number 5 came and went and then came 6. This lovely place is down the street from what we’re calling Mold House. It’s also a million times more awesome and the BEST house we’ve seen (in about 60 total). We were more than a little surprised when our offer was accepted. We weren’t surprised at all when the inspection was fabulous. THEN…then the appraisal came back at a bizarrely low amount and the whole thing nearly fell apart with our financing. We challenged the appraisal and after waiting on pins and needles for three and a half days, we finally heard back – the appraisal was revised. The house was once again in our reach if the sellers could meet us half way on bridging the gap in financing. And they DID! Yay!

We’re not out of the woods yet. We need the bank to approve our new financing. But we’re damned close! We should know for sure that everything is a go next week. We assume nothing until then!

Amidst this house drama, Jack lost his first tooth – one on the bottom. For some reason this makes us absurdly happy. I guess because it’s a sign he’s growing up even while fighting cancer. He’s living! And he’s damned cute with a missing tooth. He has a slight lisp and has trouble with S sounds at the moment. It’s adorable.

I also had a wonderful Mother’s Day! David and Jack made me breakfast in bed and then we went out to have fondue for lunch. I loved the pampering. We had our celebration a bit early so that Jack could have fun with his dad the next weekend while David and I took off for Sonoma. I got an incentive trip through a contact at work – two nights in a resort hotel plus wine tasting, dinner, and brunch – all free. We sprung for massages, too. I felt like I got two Mother’s Days!

Life isn’t all bad right now. I’m glad I get some relief, even if it’s hard won!

Filed Under: Cancer Mom, Domesticating, Family Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Stream of (barely) Consciousness

February 21, 2012 By 1 Comment

House craziness aside (because, let’s face it, it IS crazy that we are trying to buy a house right now) I’m super behind. I came home tonight determined to do laundry…but I haven’t started yet. I DID put some things in the laundry basket – including some items that we brought home from the hospital over a month ago. Like I said…behind. I won’t tell you about the sheets on our bed…

It’s not completely my fault. I mean, there’s the cancer to blame. And also the fact that our washing machine isn’t working properly. I could call our landlord, probably, but who has time for THAT? Also, have you MET our landlord? He’s as hands off as they come. The roof on our shed out back caved in long ago and we’re too afraid to go out there because of the mold, anyway. Oh and let’s not forget the (poorly patched [sorry, honey!]) hole in the ceiling of our kitchen nook…that must have happened 2 years ago now.

But I can’t just wait around, avoiding laundry until we move into our new house (right?). That’s at least a month away (if we get the house – right now I’m tearing through loads of paperwork looking for David’s tax return from 3 years ago…). I’ve been through all of my back-up clothing and Jack’s moved on from pants to shorts. I need to get my ass in gear. I need to use that washing machine regardless of the fact that the spin cycle doesn’t work!

Instead I am sitting here drinking a glass of wine and writing…

Wanna hear something weird? (No? Oh well!) David had pretty much stopped looking for work to focus on Jack and school. And then a recruiter found him and he had his third interview today. AND then we heard that Joe has an interview this week – after a year of unemployment. So now we’re in a weird position. We were looking at dual unemployment as somewhat of a blessing because no one had to take family leave and miss out on half their income. And, really, this should have been a fine plan because the economy still sucks and there haven’t been job bites in ages. But then jobs just popped up out of nowhere!

When will this feeling of living in backward land go away? What alternate reality am I in that my son has cancer, we’re able to buy a HOUSE in the Bay Area on one income, and jobs fall out of the sky?

I’m pretty sure we’re going to see a zombie apocalypse soon.

If not, I’m just gonna put it out there – I could really use a new washing machine.

Filed Under: Cancer Mom, Domesticating, Parenting 101 Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

We May Have Found A House

February 20, 2012 By 4 Comments

Tomorrow we very well may be putting an offer in on a house. I am freaking out about it just a bit. It takes me so long to decide on how to spend a $25 gift card at Amazon…now I’m looking at something in the $300K range so…yeah. All the questions like, “What if something even more awesome comes on the market after we put in our offer?” are running through my head. I hate missing out!

The house is awesome. It’s located in the East Bay and cuts our hospital commute down by about 20 minutes each way. It’s a 3 bedroom 1 bath house with new EVERYTHING. And I mean everything – roof, electrical, carpet, appliances, heating system, furnace, grass…the house was completely redone under a program specifically for moderate income buyers. The backyard is gigantic. When Jack saw it yesterday he ran around outside – the first time I’ve seen him run in forever. The house is located on a street named after a constellation – how perfect for our Jackonaut.

Jack declared that he wanted the big room with the door to the backyard. We dashed his hopes and he quickly decided he didn’t like the house as much. :P We’ve since let him know that we would build a back door just for him and he’s perked up again.

We came home to San Francisco and starting gathering the rest of the paperwork needed to put an offer in. They want everything – including Jack’s birth certificate – to ensure that we are truly in the moderate income category. If David was working right now rather than enrolled in school full time and staying home to care for Jack, we’d be over the income limit. The timing on this is pretty incredible.

We may not get the house. There may be an offer better than ours or a family deemed more in need than us. In the mean time, we are trying to wrap our heads around the fact that we might be homeowners very soon. Holy crap!

Filed Under: Domesticating Tagged With: , , , , ,

Combing The Bay (Area)

February 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment

We are looking for a house. I know how that sounds, considering David is unemployed and Jack was just diagnosed with Leukemia but, well, we’ve been diligently saving for it and had the purchase/move in our plan for this summer. The social worker at the hospital told me right off the bat that we shouldn’t set aside all of our life plans. We should carry on with life and keep it as normal as possible. We don’t want Jack to feel like his health is messing up our life or something. Okay…yeah.

So, we’re looking at houses. Our current place is too small for us and has some maintenance issues besides (we have a lackadaisical landlord on one hand…but really cheap rent on the other). We’d like to be in a place that is more accessible to the hospital since we’ll be spending a lot of time there over the next three years. Gas and tolls for crossing t he Bay Bridge are expensive!

We’ve gotten pre-qualified and are pretty much ready to go with a Cal FHA first time homebuyer’s loan (which allows us to get a house with only a 3.5% down payment). We’re lucky enough to be able to qualify for stuff on my income alone, which bodes well for our future once the job market recovers for realsies.

In the mean time, we are looking at houses online every day and setting up showings and attending open houses on the weekends. I know some people find this fun but I am not one of those people. Also, I’m impatient – I just want to find something that works and buy it. Not to mention I’m a sucker for a good deal…it’s a good thing my husband is more level-headed about these things.

Part of what makes this difficult is that we don’t have a particular city in this area that we love. We have friends all over the place here, I work in the city, Jack’s dad lives an hour south of the city, and the hospital is 40 minutes east of us and over a bridge in Oakland. We are central to friends, Jack’s dad, and the hospital right now…but it’s the city – we can’t afford a decent house here (with a yard for our dog) AND guarantee Jack will go to a decent school (enrollment is a lottery system, transferring is a crapshoot, and there is no way I’m driving across the city to take Jack to the school he currently attends).

So, anyway…wish us luck. We hope to find something that we love for a more-than-affordable price that is convenient and takes an adequately lengthy time to complete the buying process (this is where short sales come in handy – we want to find something now but buy months from now so that we don’t have to ask family members for “cash gifts”).

In the mean time I’ll be over here freaking out about growing up…

***

By the way, go check out Band Back Together today – Jack and the Monkey In My Chair program are featured.

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Hustle and Bustle

December 5, 2011 By 5 Comments

Last week at work was brutal. I am not quite sure how I made it through. I think I’m still recovering.

Amidst the stress of work, I had THREE posts published elsewhere. I revamped and combined my prior posts about my dad for World Aids Day and posted it on Band Back Together, and I wrote a brand new piece for Postpartum Voice in which I talk about the details of my postpartum depression for the first time. The third I won’t directly link here due to its sensitive nature, but you can hit me up on Twitter or via email if you are interested in it (and haven’t already read it).

We’re still dealing with fear at home. Jack is sleeping with his bedroom light on every night now, which is a change from the first 5 years of his life. He now watches Dora the Explorer and Berenstein Bears instead of Scooby-Doo and Ben 10. We’ve acquired the Scaredy Squirrel books and “When I Feel Afraid.” Nothing seems to be particularly helpful. We may just have to ride this one out.

With that said, and while I know that this is a phase that kids Jack’s age go through, I’m wondering if some of the stresses his families are dealing with (unemployment in both households, for one) might be contributing and/or if school issues may be having an impact on him. It seems like he has more trouble sleeping and is tired more often these days.

Jack’s teacher has started sending his incomplete classwork home for him to finish. This is super fun (not)! I don’t even know what to do about that. For now we are just continuing to encourage him to finish his projects in class and emphasizing that we all want him to do his work well. This may be another area where the reward of money will motivate him (that’s how he potty trained)…hm…

On the good news front, I recently won a $500 Apple gift card thanks to my attendance and participation in a Twitter party hosted by LiveOn.com. WOOHOO!! The site is pretty cool – you can basically create a digital scrapbook of life’s events with photos and such and it’s got some nifty social media enhancements. I haven’t had much time to play around with it but I did create an account and will definitely futz with it. It looks fun!

I also won passes to the new Children’s Creativity Museum in San Francisco. I’m super psyched to take Jack there!

My birthday is at the end of this week and so the promise of cake and dinner with friends is keeping me in decent spirits. Oh and I’ve gotten nearly all of my Christmas shopping done and the presents are mostly wrapped, too! Now I just need to take down the Halloween decorations…

Filed Under: Growing Up, Parenting 101, PPD, School Tagged With: , , , , , , , , ,

Off to Kindergarten

August 15, 2011 By 2 Comments

My baby went off to school today.  He is going to come back home this afternoon and then can I even refer to him as my baby anymore??  I don’t know.

Last night Jack picked out the clothes he would wear on his first day of school.  This morning I asked if he had any breakfast requests and he asked for pancakes.  I made banana chocolate chip pancakes for him (and for me).  His dad arrived at our house at 8:10 this morning and David, Joe, Jack, and I all walked to school together for the orientation (the school is two blocks away).

Orientation was…boring.  It droned on pretty long and Jack was bored (as was I).  I’m not sure if the staff actually intended to put the kids to sleep but they definitely were subdued by the time the announcements ended and the kindergartners headed to class.  We were told that while it used to be that kids just had to learn how to spell and write their name and count to 30 upon leaving kindergarten, the expectation now is that they are able to read and write sentences by the end of the academic year.  Now I’m feeling pretty freaking glad that we seemingly got a head start on that.  If he went in not knowing how to write or read a damned thing, I would be more worried.  Luckily he can read (he just doesn’t have the patience for sentences quite yet) and write pretty well.

Did you know kindergartners have homework?  Oh yes!  Jack will get homework Monday through Thursday.  Wowwee.

I didn’t cry and neither did Jack.  He did get nervous when he discovered that his “little white bunny” wasn’t in his backpack but he had notes from both me and Joe to remind him that we love him.  I made sure to let him know that this was everyone’s first day at school and they were all nervous, too.  That seemed to help.

Update this afternoon – Upon picking him up this afternoon Jack told David and I that his day was “wonderful…I can’t wait to go back tomorrow!”  Success!

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Filed Under: Growing Up, Milestones, Photos, School Tagged With: , , , , , , , ,

Invitation to Tea

June 10, 2011 By 3 Comments

Have you heard of Tea Collection?  (No, this is not something you drink.)  I hadn’t before this month when I received an invitation to an Open Studio for their upcoming Fall collection of clothing.  I took a look at their website and fell in love with the unique art on their clothing – I particularly love this beetle shirt and I knew Jack would want this lizard shirt (he’s obsessed with chameleons lately).  He is pretty particular about what he wears these days and he tends to request things that are “kinda scary.”  (He is still wearing his skeleton shirt from Halloween…)

So last night I attended the Tea Collection Open Studio.  This company that I didn’t know existed is located less than a mile from my office!  They provided tacos (YUM) and margaritas and introduced a group of local social media folks to their staff, designers, and upcoming Mexico-inspired line of clothing.  I knew immediately upon seeing this Day of the Dead shirt that Jack would be ALL OVER IT:

I showed him the picture when I got home, and he wanted to see it bigger and BIGGER and then he wanted to know why it was a decorative skull, and then he wanted it for himself.  It’s a good thing his birthday is coming up.

There was also some sort of contest.  I honestly don’t even know what the winner gets – I just had fun dressing up a mannequin (they stay still, unlike real children).  We were asked to take pieces from the Fall line and throw together an outfit.  My ensemble is below:

I really think the sombrero makes the outfit, don’t you?  You can’t quite see it in this picture (yeah, I suck with camera phones – my hands shake way too much) but there is orange in the polo underneath the Team Nahual shirt that matches the shoelaces on those sneakers.  I can totally see Jack in this outfit.  Also?  I really like orange.

They also had a little something for the ladies.  I am completely enraptured with this sweater:

I must buy it.  MUST!!  (It’s not available yet.  Dang it!)  I thought it was a scarf at first and still I wanted it but no!  It’s a sweater!  Even better!  (I live in San Francisco, remember?  I would wear a sweater every day if I could.)

I was really impressed by the friendliness of the company’s founders and the other employees I met.  I loved learning about the details of how the designers go on trips (i.e. Mexico) and visit the markets and research the culture in order to bring the designs into their clothing line.  There is a new culture/country every season.  The designs are vibrant and a little off-beat, which is right up our alley.

We got a neat little gift bag on our way out – Jack is wearing a pair of Tea pants today and they fit perfectly according to the size chart!  How often does THAT happen??  I’m also enjoying this lovely scarf that was inspired by Barcelona.  Um, I need to go to Barcelona (how come you never take me there?).

By the way, I wasn’t asked to write about this in exchange for the gifts or anything.  I just wanted to give this boutique company a shout out because I’m super impressed by how they run their company.  Not only that, but they have having an awesome sale inspired by Facebook likes and I think my deal-loving readers out there will find it to be relevant!  So, go check it out.

And here’s a picture of me in an sombrero.  I *may* have written this whole thing just to show you guys how awesome I look in it.  Only you can prevent forest fires!  Or something.

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Off to school he will go

April 7, 2011 By 1 Comment

We made it through the San Francisco Unified School District lottery process!  I submitted Jack’s application in January with ten schools picked out as our top choices.  We heard back on March 19th that he got the #1 pick on our list!  WOOT!  That was quite a surprise!  The school is four blocks from our house and has a wonderful rating on greatschools.org.  Color me happy!

It was a mad dash from there to get him a physical and immunization updates.  He needed to be enrolled by April 15th to secure his spot at the school, and his physical had to occur no earlier than March.  (It would have been great if I had known that before I got the letter – the earliest Pediatric appointment I could get was for April 4.)  Not to mention there are only certain dates when one can go down and enroll at the school.  Oh, and you need two proofs of address dated within the last 45 days (like bills, which we almost exclusively do electronically – arg!) along with the other paperwork.

Anyway, Jack’s dad took him in for his physical and three shots on Monday.  Today I gathered the paperwork and held my breath while handing everything over to the office clerk.  I was SURE something would be missing and I would be told to come back later (after all, the doctor was a bit lax in filling out the physical form, so we weren’t given a record of Jack’s booster shots…) but everything was accepted.  WHEW.  They’ll likely ask for that additional record later.

So yay!  Jack is enrolled in Kindergarten.  Now to prepare him (and myself!) emotionally for the transition.  I asked him this morning if he wanted to go with me to get enrolled and he declined, stating “Today is not a good day for that.”  Methinks he is a little nervous about the whole prospect, even though I reminded him that they have a playground that he gets to play on EVERY DAY!  Oh well, I’m sure he’ll come around.

Oh man, my baby is going to school…somebody hold me!

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Limbo

February 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

A couple of weeks ago I was able to get Jack’s elementary school application submitted to the San Francisco Unified School District.  Now we wait until March when we hear which of the 10 schools we asked for will be assigned to us.  I admit that I’m experiencing an array of emotions during this process.

I tried to lower my general anxiety over San Francisco’s lottery system by not touring any of the schools.  I know that might sound a little odd, so let me explain my reasoning.  For one, even with the improvements made to the lottery system for this academic year, Jack may not be assigned to any of the schools we requested.  Why tour schools and pick favorites when chances are good that he won’t even attend those schools?  That is just asking for disappointment.

In addition to that, the reality is that we need a school that is fairly close to either our home or my employer.  My workday isn’t flexible and I will likely be the one doing drop-off and pick-up (at least, that’s how things are now with daycare).  I don’t have the ability to drive across town to a better school than the ones that are close.

There there is the fact that this is just Kindergarten and there is a high likelihood that we will move before he goes to 1st grade anyway…but if we do happen to still be in this area when that time comes, all the schools within a mile or so of our house are pretty equal according to my research.

So for the most part I have managed to avoid much of the anxiety that I think a lot of parents experience during this process (one mom behind me in line when I went to submit the application had a worry stone that a friend had loaned her for good luck).  I AM a bit anxious but that has more to do with my own worries about how Jack’s school experience will go – that is more related to other kids than the school itself.  Putting my kid in school is forcing me to face all of my school-related issues.

I am also unsure what is going to happen with Jack after the school days are over, as so far the after-school programs I’ve found in our neighborhood aren’t open to kindergartners.  What kind of craziness is that?  I *know* that other parents of 5 year olds work so what gives, San Francisco?  Or, more specifically, Richmond District?  We live in one of the more affordable parts of the city – not everyone has a nanny – so you’d think these things would be ironed out.  Apparently they do not, though, and there is not much I can do about it until I know where Jack will be going to school.

In the mean time, we’re in limbo.  SFUSD limbo.  This is not my favorite thing.

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Wedding Budget Breakdown

September 29, 2010 By 1 Comment

The grand total price of my wedding was about $3700.  I was shocked at the end of it all that we pulled it off spending less than $5K, especially because we definitely splurged in certain areas.  For those interested, here is a breakdown of where the money went:

Beauty & Health – I could have saved a LOT in this area if I knew anything about hair and make up.  As it was, I sought out a cosmetologist from outside of the Bay Area (Yolanda from PrimaDonna Makeover) because she charges less than those here in the city.  I ended up paying for her travel time, though, so I didn’t save as much as I had hoped.  Of that $539 number, $425 went to the stylist.  It looked pretty good, though, and it was all done in my home so I didn’t have to stress about running all over the place the morning of my wedding.  It was overall worth the splurge.

Cake – I got a damned good deal here.  Doing research on Yelp for budget-friendly bakers, I stumbled on From Scratch SF, a brand new business launched by Jennifer Bratko.  I discussed my budget with Jennifer, sent her a copy of my invitation and a picture of my topper and she suggested the perfect design for my cake.  It turned out absolutely beautiful and amazingly delicious, and SO worth every penny:

Photo & cake by Jennifer Bratko

Catering – Lucky for us, David is a great cook and he had a fabulous friend to help him, so food costs were low.  The menu consisted of finger foods – salmon burgers, turkey burgers, and gourmet roast beef sandwiches.  Delish!  The total above actually includes a new grill that we got on sale at OSH.  We bought all of our wine at Bevmo with reward coupons (could have saved more if I had purchased it all during their 5 cent sale but we didn’t get organized in time) and the food was purchased in bulk at Safeway and Costco.  All of our tableware and cups were compostable and went right into the bin when we were done.

Dress & Attire – I bought my dress on mega sale at the Jessica McClintock outlet here in San Francisco.  It was $93.  It was a little long but I fixed that with a pin in the side rather than dishing out money for alterations.  David’s tux rental cost more than my ensemble!  I got comfy ballet flats on sale from shoes.com for $28 (using a coupon from savings.com*) and my jewelry and accessories were purchased on etsy.  Jack’s suit was borrowed.

Flowers & Decor – We saved money on flowers by ordering hydrangeas in bulk from Costco.  This ended up being a pain in the ass due to the incompetence of our local Fed Ex (the flowers sat in their warehouse mere blocks from my work for TWO DAYS) but we were lucky and it all worked out with only a few bunches that were compromised.  We put together simple arrangements using mason jars bought at the grocery store and tied with ribbon.

Our backyard was kind of a wasteland, so David ordered and laid sod down the day before the wedding.  At about $250, this was actually cheaper than renting any sort of astroturf and certainly less than renting a reception hall.  He also planted some flowers the same day and added in some mulch, and it looked very fresh!

Tables, chairs, and linens were another $265 (including delivery fee) and made things look more “official,” and I bought a tent (again – purchasing the tent was actually cheaper than renting one) for about $150.  Our paper lanterns were purchased in a variety of colors and sizes (less than $2 each) through JustArtifacts.com.

Invitations – Being that I am a Stampin’ Up! demonstrator, I definitely could have saved more money in this area by making my own invitations.  Instead I chose to go the lazy convenient route and get custom invitations from Ruff House Art on etsy.  I paid an extra fee of $40 for a custom design, which I’m sure others can choose to skip to save a few bucks.  I also decided not to include RSVP cards since we had a small number of guests and are close enough to everyone to take RSVPs by word of mouth/email/etc.  The cost also included matching thank you cards.

Jewelry – David’s titanium ring cost a whopping $55 at JustTitanium.com.  He wanted something super lightweight and slim fitting (1.3mm thin to be exact) and I tracked down the slimmest ring I could find and then we requested that the 2mm standard size be slimmed to 1.3mm.  David is a very particular guy.  My ring was definitely pricier, but rather than spend extra on something custom, I searched high and low for something that just happened to be made for this somewhat unique setting.  Thanks Dacarli Jewelers for providing exact measurements of the ring and a nice return policy (just in case)!

Music – You won’t see this up there because we spent $0.  We used iTunes and put together our own playlist.  Between the fact that the reception was in our backyard and it was the middle of the day, we figured there wouldn’t be much dancing anyway.  Plus, the drunk people will dance anywhere and to anything!

Photography – Photography is a tricky thing to save money on – those disposable cameras usually just generate crap and professional photographers charge a whole lotta money for their services.  I think it’s worth it to pay big bucks for a photographer, but that doesn’t mean it’s practical for the budget.  I got lucky in two ways – my friend’s brother is a photography hobbiest with some sweet gear AND my friend Sarah is fantastic behind the camera.  Photography cost us next to nothing and we got beautiful, memorable shots of the day.

Site Fee – We spent $0 on this, as well.  It was a flash mob sort of ceremony on the beach that lasted all of about 30 minutes.

Obviously, all of the help from our family and friends is not included in the cost of our wedding.  That part was priceless and really the best wedding gift of all!

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