The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sleeper

I have no idea what this kid needs from us. I am sure that we’re doing everything wrong, though.

It feels like we have tried everything to get him to have good sleep habits and yet…nearly every night involves screaming and kicking and throwing things and hours of time. Frustration and anger and tears and…youtube videos.

Yes…as a last resort, we are now regularly putting him to bed with youtube videos.

That is the wrong thing, I know. But what is the right thing for this child? Because we have tried everyfuckingthing and this seems to be the only thing that ends with him sleeping without us completely losing our minds in the process!

Even so, bedtime is a nightmare. We feel powerless. I personally get so dejected and angry when I finally leave the room (usually some time after 10pm). Hence, this blog post…

David takes on bedtime most nights now because it has taken a serious toll on my mental health. He fares better than I do, but he can’t do it every night. It wears a person down.

I want a toddler who sleeps through the night.

Still true.

It doesn’t end there, either. Dez sleeps for a couple of hours before waking and he will throw a gigantic hour+ long screaming fit if I don’t tend to him in the middle of the night. Sometimes we go the screaming route with Dave going in there while I try to ignore it and stay in bed and get some sleep through the noise. Other times, I take one for the team and head in there. We try to take turns because once we go in, we usually do not emerge again until morning.

The parent who goes in there gets a toddler velcro treatment. With me that means Dez scoots his face right up to mine, breathes his hot toddler breath on me, and locks his hands around my head. He falls asleep peacefully while I try to breathe air that isn’t coming out of his mouth and hope I can get back to sleep while locked in his embrace. All night long it’s a game of “shove the toddler over to get some space and a few independent winks” and “oh look here he is right in my face again.”

I probably don’t need to tell you that I don’t sleep well like this. I am pretty sure Dez is the only one on the planet who does!

And I haaaaaate it.

I keep trying to come at this sleep thing from different angles, try to analyze the situation and read tips and…nothing. Nothing helps. It looks like we will just have to get through it. Sigh.

This is not a request for sleep advice (and good lord, please do not email me trying to sell me something!), just an exasperated rant from a very tired mom.

Please let this child figure this sleep thing out. 2+ years of shitty sleep cannot be good for any of us.

Half-asleep mumblings

Poor Jack has a cold for the first time in a while.  He doesn’t have a fever but he is visibly exhausted, snotty, and quite hacky.  Last night he woke up twice bawling.  I *think* he hit his head when tossing and turning but it’s hard to say because he was pretty out of it (now I know what David deals with when I try to talk to him while half asleep).  After getting him to bed the second time, I had trouble falling back to sleep and kept thinking I heard him crying.  I’m tired today.

It astounds me that I dealt with regular night waking for almost two years straight when Jack was a baby while holding down a crazy-busy full time job and getting absolutely no down time.  How did I do that?  How does anyone do that?  After being so unused to it now, I feel like a complete zombie today.  It’s a miracle that I can type!

Thank goodness we’re in an easier phase overall!  It’s days like today that remind me why I haven’t had a second child yet.  The easier things get with Jack, the harder it gets to go in the second child direction…

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Excuse me while I channel Cher

Jack is in the middle of something…I don’t know if it’s a growth spurt or a developmental spurt or both but it is pretty aggravating. The last three or four (really I’ve lost count) nights we’ve been awoken by him wailing in his sleep. My guess is that he is having nightmares. He doesn’t wake up from them and although I try to calm him by patting his back it doesn’t really help. It’s frustrating to not be able to do anything except lay there awake and listen to him moan…I have trouble falling back asleep even after he’s quieted because I hear him in my head anyway. My brain isn’t working so well during the day now.

He’s also been eating a TON. Last night for dinner he had two tubes of yogurt, 8 pieces of salami, two rounds of cheese, half of a clementine, a cookie…I think that’s it. That is a lot though! This morning before we even left the house he had one and a half fruit/grain bars and half of a banana. I swear the kid looks taller already.

Jack has also been increasingly stubborn and bossy. He wants to do things by himself and throws a fit if we interfere without being asked/told. Last night David split Jack’s orange in half and Jack flipped out and cried for 45 minutes demanding that I put it back together. Sheesh! If I could turn back time…

I can’t even imagine what things will be like two or three months from now. The leaps he makes now are so startling and I’ve barely wrapped my head around one before another one comes into play. For his dad’s birthday, I was able to get Jack to draw a J and an A on the birthday card before he refused to draw the rest of his name. Ever since then, he’s started drawing random letters (and things that look like letters) on his artwork at daycare. I can’t believe I have a child old enough to be writing! That’s just nuts!