unemployment - Ewokmama

We had Jack’s parent/teacher conference almost two weeks ago and things since then have been fairly calm. I don’t know if it’s the fact that Jack knows we adults are working together to keep him in line or if we are all just being more organized and routine about everything. In any case, the conference was pretty positive, even with the mixed bag of “your kid is brilliant but he has trouble staying motivated to finish his projects.” His kindergarten teacher is willing to let him read special books that we provide if it will encourage him to finish his work, and she is supposed to be moving his desk so that he sits near some girls who are better at finishing their work and cleaning their desks. We’re hoping their habits rub off on him.

School went really well last week. Jack got a happy note every single day! Woo hoo! We no longer hear “I hate school!” all the time. One morning when we were running late and I had to break the news that Jack wouldn’t get any playtime prior to the bell ringing, Jack surprised me with, “Well, Mom, that’s okay! I’ll have recess later!”

So things seem to be improving there. I’m cautiously optimistic because, as the parenting gods have taught me, as soon as you say something positive about how well things are going, it all falls apart.

Honestly, though, things aren’t exactly going GREAT. My husband lost his job on Friday and that is also a mixed bag. The job was pretty awful and causing major stress to him and us so it’s not like we’re sad. I’d been encouraging him to look elsewhere for some time but, as I’m sure many of you know, it can be difficult to look for work while working full time, taking classes, and dealing with family stuff. In any case, the job ended rather unceremoniously on Friday and we traded the stress of him having a shitty job for the stress of him having no job. We are angry at his ex-employers yet relieved he doesn’t have to go back there. We’re happy that he has plenty of time to find a new job now but worried that the lack of job will be a liability in getting a job. And, of course, the financial implications are not fun to think about. That house we wanted is now pushed further into the future. But what are ya gonna do?

As for my mom’s health, her various organ and head scans came back clear and so it doesn’t look like she has any evil diseases lurking. She got a hysterectomy Friday so she is recovering from that and once I am both less stressed and less ill (I spent a good month transitioning to a new preventative migraine med; now I’m fighting off my second cold in 6 weeks) I will go visit her.

So, that’s life lately. This, and my work with Band Back Together. We went non-profit, did you hear? We got our state designation and have applied for federal recognition. I’m on the Board of Directors, as well. I’m damned proud of the growth over there. If you don’t know what the heck it is – I encourage you to check it out. It’s a group blog where we invite everyone to submit stories survival and get support and kudos for being all ‘eye of the tiger.’ We have stories about post partum depression, cancer, bullying, friendship, hope, single parenting, caregiver burnout, etc. and are expanding all the time. I would like to formally invite you to join our Band.

By the way, Happy Halloween. I’ll be over here eating candy corn and peanut M&Ms.

All Grown Up and Nowhere to Hide (ewokmama.com)
The Littlest Sandbagger (ewokmama.com)

Today is a momentous day. Today David was offered a job. Wait, it’s not just a job offer. It’s a good job offer. We are a happy, happy household!!

David and I met at the end of August 2009. When December rolled around, he (and his co-workers) had already taken a pay cut in order to attempt to stay employed. The paycut didn’t work out so well and layoffs began (I believe David was laid off the day after my birthday). This was, of course, in the middle of a terrible economic decline that was only going to get worse. He got a few bites on applications but they disappeared into thin air and then stopped altogether when the economy hit rock bottom. Things have slowly begun to recover but it’s been a loooooong year.

A few days ago David got a less than good offer from a company in Silicon Valley…hourly pay for a position different from what he applied for that came with a 3 hour RT commute and no medical benefits. Oh and it would be a two month contract. In the words of the manager offering him the position, “It’s better than what you have now, right?” Not only was he left feeling like he was being taken advantage of because of the market, but all of those downsides AND working for a jerk? So not worth it! Still, he thought about it. We talked it over – talked about how to make our separate commutes work with one car and little in the way of public transit options. We discussed what life would be like for the next few months before the contract ended and he was unemployed again. His unemployment benefit extensions have run out and his last check was arriving this week. So of course, the decision was not easy, but David ultimately turned it down because our entire life would be turned upside down for two months of minimal paychecks. In addition, there was this other job that looked like it was going to come through and it wouldn’t require nearly as much lifestyle rearrangement…

David’s last unemployment check came in the mail yesterday. Today, he was offered a job. Full time, salaried, health benefits, permanent employment. He totally snatched that puppy up!

Tonight we are celebrating the end of this search and doing our version of the money dance. We’ll say goodbye to self doubt, daily financial strain, and worry over equal contribution in the household. Starting next week, we get to enjoy living together without the cloud of unemployment hanging over our heads, something we haven’t been able to do for most of our (fairly new) relationship. We are SO looking forward to the less stressful days ahead!

Mixed Bag

Time to do the money dance

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