Mommy Envy

Fridays at work are always pretty open in the lactation room.  Mondays, too.  There are only three of us (out of seven so far) who work in the office full time.  I have to admit that I feel envious of these women (and other parents) who get an extra day or two at home with their kids.  I want to lounge at home reading books with Jack or attend meet-ups and playgroups.  Instead I am at work willing the day to speed by so that I can go home and see my little guy’s face light up as he runs toward me for hugs.

It wasn’t so hard in the beginning.  I hated maternity leave and couldn’t wait to get back to work.  Steady work that I enjoy has been one of the only things that has kept depression at bay for me.  Money is a big stress-inducer in my life, which probably comes from growing up poor.  (I am glad Jack will not have to experience kids making fun of him for wearing K-Mart clothing, or cheap Payless shoes melting on hot pavement, or standing in line for government-provided cheese.)  If I didn’t work, we’d be in the same situation I grew up in and I will do everything in my power to never be there!

So, working is part choice and part necessity.  Joe works in a field where it is difficult to obtain employment, and the work he finds is generally part-time or seasonal and not high paying (and no medical benefits!).  His income pays for daycare and little else.  We’re hoping that will change as he gains more experience and possibly gets into one of the few full-time and/or permanent rangering positions that open up every so often.  If that happens, I will see if I can get a 4 day work week to have a little extra time with Jack yet still keep one foot in the working world.  In the mean time, I’m the bread winner for the family, a role I am very used to since before Joe was a ranger, he was a student.  This is our life!

4 thoughts on “Mommy Envy”

  1. I know how you feel about wanting to make enough money to live comfortably. I think that’s something you and I both feel strongly about. I don’t want my kid(s) not being able to participate in school sports because we can’t afford it. I’m really hoping I can find a good paying part time job when I get out of the military, because when I do have a child, I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with them. Plus, I’m so picky, I know I’ll feel like nobody can take care of them as well as I do, and that will drive me absolutely crazy!

  2. Even though you are doing what you have to do…remember this, the grass is always greener on the other side and another, be careful what you wish for. So, don’t envy, but rather, accept what you have that is good in life!

    OMG, that sounded like a weird proverb…I must have had too much wine tonight.

    BTW: like your blog!

  3. Dawn – I already do. She cracks me up!

    Holl – I don’t think you’ll have a problem since Mike is in a good place in his career.

    Melinda – thanks for stopping by. Indeed, I do celebrate what I have and like my life for the most part. If I could just get one extra day with Jack (and a maid, and a cook), I’d say it’d be about perfect!

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