Truthiness Day 6: Nightmare

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope I never have to lose my son.  I could not get over that, could not deal with that kind of loss.  That would leave a gaping hole inside of me that would never be filled.  I suspect I would become Annabella Sciorra‘s character in What Dreams May Come, trapping myself inside my own personal hell.

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I had a miscarriage before I had Jack.  It was horrible and I fell into the worst depression I’ve ever felt.  I remember a lot from those days – imagining my future, a future that was supposed to include a child and all that comes with it.  I remember aching with loss, knowing I would never know that person and that I would miss out on every single thing that I was supposed to experience.  I am thankful to have Jack now; to know him, watch him grow, teach him, and experience life with him.  I don’t ache like I did before he came along because I have everything I wanted and more.  I don’t ever want that taken away.

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