Truthiness Day 9: Drifting

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

My cousin CJ was my best friend through junior high and high school.  We are about a year apart in age and both have suffered from depression.  During our teen years we totally got one another.  We were the only people like us that we knew, and seemingly the only ones to challenge our family’s status quo.  We always felt like brother and sister, and closer to one another than the rest of our family members.

Sometime after high school we started to drift.  Wait, maybe it was after my wedding.  CJ walked me down the aisle along with my brother.  About a year after that,  I moved to the Bay Area.  CJ didn’t tell me back then, but he didn’t like my husband.  I only learned that when Joe and I split up.  Of all the things CJ understood about me, he never understood why I married Joe or why I moved out of Sacramento.  I think both of those things made him feel like I was abandoning him.

CJ is married now and has two children whom I have never met.  He’s met my son twice.  We’ve been out of practice in speaking with one another for so long now.  We’ve made a few phone calls back and forth in recent years and visited a couple of times, but our lives are very different from one another’s now.  I know CJ is there if I ever need him.  I can call him up at any time, ask him for help or just an ear, and I know he will do what he can.  Despite that, our relationship just isn’t easy like it was when we were kids.  There are hurt feelings and family politics in the way of any sort of comfortable silence.  That will always make me sad.

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